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What can international organizations really do for us ? What are their limits ?

What can international organizations really do for us? What are their limits? E3we3
United Nation is international organization to promote peace making and peacekeeping. UN do many things to save citizen in the conflict state in the world. Its first operation started in late 1989-1994, in the middle 1990s, and towards the 21 st century. Most of conflicts that UN handle after cold war ended is shown increasing amount. According to the data from article said that the Security Council authorized a total of 20 new operations between 1989 and 1994, raising the number of peacekeepers from 11, 000 to 75, 000. The number of UN peacekeeping operation is shown a drastic improvement number due to complexity of conflict. United Nation conducted a multidimensional and complicated task as a safeguard in order to keep the world safe. In the first operation of UN peacekeeping it was plain to see that the military personnel become main focus to handle conflict. Take the example ONUSAL (UN Observer mission in El Salvador). Although at the beginning the conflict could handle easily by military personnel, but in fact the problem was more complicated. In the period of reassessment (mid 1990s) UN found difficulties in handling multidimensional conflict in Somalia (UNOSOM). The conflict was failed to handle because two parties keep warring. Although the military has been exist in that conflict area but UN still could not make parties stop warring each other. UN see its limitation by this case. There were many problem that UN should review at the same time including administrators, economist, human right monitors, civil affair and governance specialist. Towards 21st new operation and new challenge, take the example of Timor leste (UNTAET). Timor leste at that time was in the process of gaining independence from Indonesia. The other example is on the Kosovo (UNMIK). UN learned to improve its safekeeping operation limit. In the case of Kosovo and East Timor, UN provided administrative aid to help this both state. UN have done hard effort to maintain and control the state during and after conflict. According to me, what UN have done for better peace in world must be appreciated highly (Nobel Prize 1988). Without the existence of UN as international organization, citizen will never feel live as comfortable as now. There will be many innocent victims caused by civil war. Even though at several case of operations UN stuck in its limits but in general its contribution influence to world is significant. UN can be best mediator in peace negotiation, its role ensure balance service in short or long term condition in many countries.
United Nation is international organization to promote peace making and peacekeeping. UN

Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "does".
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to save citizen in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
state in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Its
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in

late 1989-1994, in the middle 1990s, and towards the
Did you mean "21st"?
21 st
century.

Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
that UN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
after
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
cold war
ended
is shown
increasing amount.

According to the data from article said that the Security Council authorized a total of 20 new

operations between 1989 and 1994, raising the number of peacekeepers from 11, 000 to

75, 000. The number of UN peacekeeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
is shown
a drastic improvement number

due to complexity of conflict.

United Nation conducted a multidimensional and complicated task as a safeguard in order to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
safe. In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
of UN peacekeeping it was plain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the

military personnel become main focus to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
. Take the example
Possible spelling mistake found.
ONUSAL
(UN

Observer mission in El Salvador). Although at the beginning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
easily


by military personnel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact the problem was more complicated.

In the period of reassessment (mid 1990s) UN found difficulties in handling

multidimensional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
in Somalia (
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNOSOM
). The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
was failed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


two parties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
warring. Although the military has been
Consider using a past participle here: "existed".
exist
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
UN

still
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
warring each other. UN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its limitation by this case. There

were
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
that UN should review at the same time including administrators,

economist, human right monitors, civil affair and governance specialist.

Towards 21st new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operation
and new challenge, take the example of Timor
Possible spelling mistake found.
leste
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNTAET
).

Timor
Possible spelling mistake found.
leste at
that time was in the process of gaining independence from Indonesia. The

other example is on the Kosovo (
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNMIK
). UN learned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its safekeeping
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
operation


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
limit
. In the case of Kosovo and East Timor, UN provided administrative aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this both

state. UN have done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
effort to maintain and control the state during and after conflict.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, what UN have done for better peace in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be appreciated
highly


(Nobel Prize 1988). Without the existence of UN as international organization, citizen will

never feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as comfortable as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. There will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent victims caused by civil

war.
Even though
at
Possible agreement error. The noun case seems to be countable; consider using: "several cases".
several case
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
operations
UN stuck in its limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in general
its

contribution influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is significant. UN can
A determiner is probably missing here: "be the best".
be best
mediator in peace negotiation,

its role ensure balance service in short or long term condition in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

IELTS essay What can international organizations really do for us? What are their limits?

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
421 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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