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In many counties, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What are the causes of this phenomenon and how to solve it.

In many counties, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What are the causes of this phenomenon and how to solve it. OVRDM
In recent years, the proportion of crimes committed by teenagers has increased dramatically and this has caused a widespread discussion. This essay will first suggest that the biggest reason results in this phenomenon is media violence and then submit to strengthening the censorship as the most viable solution. The foremost reason causes juvenile delinquency is the adverse effect of media violence. Nowadays, the Internet and mobile phone games are surrounded by information on pornography, violence and crime. These mental poisons have been seriously corrupting adolescents' innocent minds and inducing their violent impulses. So curious are some youngsters that they might blindly duplicate everything they have seen. For instance, a study by a “YOUTH” showed that One of the most essential reasons that trigger a high rate of juvenile delinquency in Fujian is the negative influence of mass media in Fujian. A possible solution to this problem would be that the government lay down relevant legislations to strengthen the censorship of the commercialized mass media. More details, if the governments set a rating and censorship system to eliminate the vulgar, bloody, and sadistic contents on the screen, and enact laws to punish cyber violence, teenagers are less exposed to the indecent culture and can stay away from the poison of spiritual rubbish. To sum up, the main reason that triggers juvenile delinquency is the adverse effect of media violence,but a possible solution to tackle this issue is that the government should provide a healthy environment on the screen.
In recent years, the proportion of crimes committed by
teenagers
has increased
dramatically
and this has caused a widespread discussion. This essay will
first
suggest that the biggest
reason
results in this phenomenon is
media
violence
and then submit to strengthening the censorship as the most viable solution.

The foremost
reason
causes juvenile delinquency is the adverse effect of
media
violence
. Nowadays, the Internet and mobile phone games
are surrounded
by information on pornography,
violence
and crime. These mental poisons have been
seriously
corrupting adolescents' innocent minds and inducing their violent impulses.
So
curious are
some
youngsters that they might
blindly
duplicate everything they have
seen
.
For instance
, a study by a “YOUTH”
showed
that One of the most essential
reasons
that trigger a high rate of juvenile delinquency in Fujian is the
negative
influence of mass
media
in Fujian.

A possible solution to this problem would be that the
government
lay down relevant
legislations
to strengthen the censorship of the commercialized mass
media
. More
details
, if the
governments
set a rating and censorship system to eliminate the vulgar, bloody, and sadistic contents on the screen, and enact laws to punish cyber
violence
,
teenagers
are less exposed to the indecent culture and can stay away from the poison of spiritual rubbish.

To sum up, the main
reason
that triggers juvenile delinquency is the adverse effect of
media
violence,
but
a possible solution to tackle this issue is that the
government
should provide a healthy environment on the screen.
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IELTS essay In many counties, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What are the causes of this phenomenon and how to solve it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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