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Write an essay of 250 words to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work.

Write an essay of 250 words to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work. ebmAJ
In recent years it seems to be an increasingly widespread concern for students doing volunteer work. Some people argue that being a volunteer is not beneficial for students while others have contradictory opinions. From my point of view, I am a firm believer in the involvement of students in volunteer work for these following reasons. In the first place, school boys and girls themselves can benefit greatly from being engaged in unpaid work. By dint of voluntary campaigns, students have more chances of interacting with a variety of people so they can gain numerous soft skills such as teamwork, problem-solving or communication skills. The skills gained from joining in those campaigns are very necessary when students participate in the work environment. Furthermore, they are likely to get some certificates recognizing their effort and contribution to the community, which are crucial for students who want to apply for scholarships from their targeted universities. In the second place, not only students but also the society can reap a wide range of advantages. Thanks to students doing volunteer work, the society can become better. For example, in Vietnam many high schoolers take part in donating clothes, money or food to the poor. As a result, many impoverished people can overcome their difficulties and have a better life; leading to a reduction in the poverty rate in the country. Moreover, students who get involved in voluntary campaigns can inspire more people to work together. This can make a huge contribution to building social awareness of voluntarism in the community. In summary, these aforementioned reasons lead me to the conclusion that students doing volunteer work is of great benefit. I think that all students should consider my essay to gain benefits from this kind of work.
In recent years it seems to be an
increasingly
widespread concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
is not beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
while others have contradictory opinions. From my point of view, I am a firm believer in the involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for these following reasons.

In the
first
place, school boys and girls themselves can benefit
greatly
from
being engaged
in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. By dint of voluntary campaigns,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have more chances of interacting with a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can gain numerous soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as teamwork, problem-solving or communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
gained from joining in those campaigns are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
Furthermore
, they are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certificates recognizing their effort and contribution to the community, which are crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who want to apply for scholarships from their targeted universities.

In the second place, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society can reap a wide range of advantages. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the society can become better.
For example
, in Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high schoolers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in donating clothes, money or food to the poor.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can overcome their difficulties and have a better life; leading to a reduction in the poverty rate in the country.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in voluntary campaigns can inspire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge contribution to building social awareness of voluntarism in the community.

In summary, these aforementioned reasons lead me to the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is of great benefit. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should consider my essay to gain benefits from this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay Write an essay of 250 words to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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