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Write an essay about the pros & cons of taking a gap year

Write an essay about the pros & cons of taking a gap year NlMEy
In recent days, it is quite common for young adults having a break time after graduating from secondary school. It is not the case of rich people choosing to travel as a destination while poor young adults prefer to work in spite of entering university for a period of time. I personally believe that there will be a number of positives and drawbacks in both cases. The reasons for this issue may involve the recognition of restricting knowledge and experiences in entering university studies, compared with deciding to work or take a journey which will give a broader view of life. The young adult will be better with the resources of the personal life because for both cases are able to develop them as the independent people. Students deciding work or explore the beauty of world definitely gain some practical experiences and recognise the meaning of life rather than spending much time with some papers or plenty of assignments. On the other hand, the disadvantages of both cases perhaps make people not interested again in continuing their study. They may end their study because of enjoying their daily life. Moreover, they may face some problems in adapting academic environment after spending a lot of time in work field or adventures. Therefore they probably think that it is better to pursue a career in particular jobs or do something different which can make this life full of colours in spite of studying in university. However, it will be less of people deciding break because to obtain a better future academic qualification as a primary of requirements. In conclusion, having off time for young adults after graduating secondary school is not a wrong decision. They may argue that spending time for gaining greater experiences is one way to enjoy this life before coming to the environment which has many differences from the previous study.
In recent days, it is quite common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
having a

break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after graduating from secondary school. It is not the case of rich

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to travel as a destination while poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
prefer to

work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
entering university for a period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
personally
believe

that there will be a number of positives and drawbacks in both cases.

The reasons for this issue may involve the recognition of

restricting knowledge and experiences in entering university studies, compared

with deciding to work or take a journey which will give a broader view of life.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult will be better with the resources of the personal life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


for both cases are able to develop them as the independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Students

deciding work or explore the beauty of world definitely gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical

experiences and
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the meaning of life
rather
than spending much time

with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
papers or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of assignments.

On the other hand
, the disadvantages of both cases perhaps

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not interested again in continuing their study. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their

study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of enjoying their daily life.
Moreover
, they may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


problems in adapting academic environment after spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in work

field or adventures.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to pursue

a career
in particular
jobs or do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this life

full of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
studying in university.
However
, it will be less of

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deciding break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to obtain a better future academic qualification

as a primary of requirements.

In conclusion
, having off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
after

The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
secondary school is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision. They may argue that

spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for gaining greater experiences is one way to enjoy this life

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to the environment which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences from the previous

study.
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IELTS essay Write an essay about the pros & cons of taking a gap year

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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