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Girls are choose to art subject while boys go for science and technology subjects? What are the reasons? Is it positive development or negative?

Girls are choose to art subject while boys go for science and technology subjects? What are the reasons? Is it positive development or negative? 9wrXX
Young generation whether they are men or women, have great importance in society. Some girls tend to choose to art field in college and university while boys opt to science and engineering. The main reasons for this are competition and parents decision, and this practice has bad ramifications as well. Since the cutting throat competition in academic field is on the top level, especially in science and technology subjects, girls find difficult in these majors whereas boys tend to accept challenging subjects. Art field contains subject such as history, geography and literature which are not as difficult as science and engineering. Furthermore, parents think that their daughter would do domestic work in future, so she don’t need to opt to high costing courses. However, at the same time they believe that their son have to take responsibility of family; therefore, they enroll their son in high valuable field which have plenty of potential ahead. This is one of the two reasons why girls choose art field while boys select science field. This trend has totally negative impact not only on individuals but also on entire society. If girls start take admission in art classes, the number of female in some essential organization, like medical and engineer necessary will decrease which, in turn, scarcity of women in these field as they are necessary to be. Moreover, letting girls choose art field while boys science and engineering creates the symbol of gender discrimination, thereby it disseminate awful influence in society. In conclusion, being selected art major by girls attributed to its easiness as compared to science and engineering and parents choice. Indeed, doing so has negative consequences as it leads to lack of women in certain jobs as well as gender disparities.
Young generation whether they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or women, have great importance in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
tend to choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in college and university while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
. The main reasons for this are competition and parents decision, and this practice has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ramifications
as well
.

Since the cutting throat competition in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology subjects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
find difficult in these majors whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
tend to accept challenging subjects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
contains subject such as history, geography and literature which are not as difficult as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
.
Furthermore
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their daughter would do domestic work
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "doesn’t", "didn’t".
don’t
need to opt to high costing courses.
However
, at the same time they believe that their son
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility of family;
therefore
, they enroll their son in high valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of potential ahead. This is one of the two reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
field.

This trend has
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on entire society. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
take admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes, the number of female in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential organization, like medical and engineer necessary will decrease which, in turn, scarcity of women in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
as they are necessary to be.
Moreover
, letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
creates the symbol of gender discrimination, thereby it
Did you mean "disseminates"?
disseminate
awful influence in society.

In conclusion
,
being selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
major by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
attributed to its easiness as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
and parents choice.
Indeed
, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences as it leads to lack of women in certain jobs
as well
as gender disparities.
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IELTS essay Girls are choose to art subject while boys go for science and technology subjects? What are the reasons? Is it positive development or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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