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museum charge for admission while another not

museum charge for admission while another not KlGN3
There is a tendency to believe that the advantages of museums giving complimentary tickets outweigh the disadvantages. There is little evidence to support the view that people think the museum needs to have an admission fee. In other words, people think if they go to the museum they do not have to pay anything. Paying for tickets in museums can affect a lot of aspects. It can affect the society and the museum. People think if they want to look at the museum it is free of admission. For the people who are wealthy enough it is not a big problem for them. But, for people who are not lucky, they are confused about how to get into the museum. Also if the people who are not wealthy are students. They can be affecting a lot for the museum visitors and there are students who really need to go to the museum for their school project or to access the museum for their knowledge. Some students go to the museum because they want to learn more about the history of the ancient. Nevertheless, museums also need some money to increase a lot of things or to pay for the bills. Firstly, museums have to pay the workers. workers really need to be guarded and have to be clean around the museum. By having a clean museum a lot of people can be more comfortable when they come and it is interesting to come back again. Moreover, there are water bills, electricity bills, and equipment that museums have to pay. Additionally, the money can increase the facilities and make the museum look magnificent. To sum it alot of people already know that museums are free. And it can help other people such as students to increase their knowledge. However, if people or society go to the museum and have to pay, they can enjoy the facilities that are available and be more comfortable there.
There is a tendency to believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
giving complimentary tickets outweigh the disadvantages. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
evidence to support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to have an admission fee.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if they go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
anything.

Paying for tickets in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
can affect a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of aspects. It can affect the society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if they want to look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
it is free of admission. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are wealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
it is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not lucky, they
are confused
about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not wealthy are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They can be affecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
visitors and there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for their school project or to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for their knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to learn more about the history of the ancient.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the bills.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the workers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
workers
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be guarded
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be clean around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. By having a clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be more comfortable when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and it is interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back again.
Moreover
, there are water bills, electricity bills, and equipment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
.
Additionally
, the money can increase the facilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
look magnificent.

To sum it
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are free. And it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to increase their knowledge.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or society go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
, they can enjoy the facilities that are available and be more comfortable there.
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IELTS essay museum charge for admission while another not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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