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write an essay about the effect of money on happiness

write an essay about the effect of money on happiness dlwLX
It is often argued that happiness relies on money. While I agree that a certain amount of money is needed to live a comfortable life, I do not believe that people need a lot of money in order to be happy; happiness depends on a number of other factors. In my opinion, people can definetly be happy without having a substantial amount of money. We only need enough money for essential needs such as food and accomodation. If people have these, I believe that their happiness is not tied to money. Money can only buy materials, which has nothing to do with our happiness. For instance, when a man purchases an expensive car, he is likely to be happy about it for a day or two, but after a year, this vehicle will not be making him happy anymore. There are other factors that affect our levels of happiness more than money does. I believe that health is the cornerstone of our general well-being, and thus our happiness. For example, people who suffer from a chronic disabling disease are more likely to suffer from mental illness and subsequently be unhappy. In addition to that, romantic relashionships and friendships are essential for people to be happy as lonliness and social isolation can only have a negative impact on our mental health; Interaction with caring and loving people can undoubtedly boost our happiness. In conclusion, a huge amount of money is not required to be happy, and happiness relies on various other factors such as physical and mental health, as well as good relationships.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
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happiness
relies on
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money
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life, I do not believe that
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people
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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money
in order to be
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happy
;
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happiness
depends on a number of other factors.

In my opinion,
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people
can
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definetly
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
without having a substantial amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for essential needs such as food and
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
. If
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people
have these, I believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not tied to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
materials, which has nothing to do with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For instance
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
an expensive car, he is likely to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
about it for a day or two,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a year, this vehicle will not be making him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
anymore.

There are other factors that affect our levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does. I believe that health is the cornerstone of our general well-being, and
thus
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from a chronic disabling disease are more likely to suffer from mental illness and
subsequently
be unhappy.
In addition
to that, romantic
Possible spelling mistake found.
relashionships
and friendships are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
lonliness
and social isolation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our mental health; Interaction with caring and loving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
undoubtedly
boost our happiness.

In conclusion
, a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not required to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
relies on various other factors such as physical and mental health,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships.
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IELTS essay write an essay about the effect of money on happiness

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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