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Many people are not as fit or as active as they used to be, and it is having long term effect on turn on them. Why is this happening? And what are some ways to solve this?

Many people are not as fit or as active as they used to be, and it is having long term effect on turn on them. Why is this happening? And what are some ways to solve this? QRaD9
Exercising regular is a mandatory for human beings. However, nowadays people do not to do physical activities. As a result, They become unhealthy. There are a plenty of reasons behind that problem now, individuals are busy more than in the past and this is masses are eat junk food and sweets as compared to Healthy foods. It can be taken some steps for overcome this problem. There are so many reasons for unhealthy People. The first and foremost reason is that folks tend to eat sweets and fast food, because if masses are eat so many fast food and sweets such as chocolates, cakes as well as burger, it would harm detrimental for people's health to eat these sort of things. Another reason is that majority of a masses are watch television. As a fact that, they sit all the day in front of a small screen and they are become couch potato. Finally, gone are the days, when people did plethora of physical workouts. These days individuals busy in their hectic schedule, and they have no time for exercise. There are several outcomes for unhealthy people. The major tackling point is that Government ought to built new parks and gyms for workouts. The other overcome point of that individuals had better change the way of eating, if people eat healthy food, then they will be made healthy. Lastly, authorities should implement camps related to health awareness. For example, in Chandigarh a number of parks available, people visit daily for walking and do physical activities. To conclude, there are numerous reasons of unhealthy people. Such as, people tend to eat sweets and watching TV all the day busy in their monotony life. There are so many overcome points. Such as, Government should built parks and aware about health by implementing camps.
Exercising regular is a mandatory for human beings.
However
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not to do physical activities.
As a result
, They become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
. There are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind that problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, individuals are busy more than in the past and this is masses are
Consider using a past participle here: "eaten".
eat
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sweets as compared to Healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. It can
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps for overcome this problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that folks tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
sweets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if masses are
Consider using a past participle here: "eaten".
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and sweets such as chocolates, cakes
as well
as burger, it would harm detrimental for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of things. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that majority of
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a mass" or simply "masses"?
a masses
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television. As a fact that, they sit all the day in front of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
screen and
they
are become
couch potato.
Finally
, gone are the days, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did plethora of physical workouts. These days individuals busy in their hectic schedule, and they have no time for exercise.

There are several outcomes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The major tackling point is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
ought to built new parks and gyms for workouts. The other overcome point of that individuals had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way of eating, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, then they will
be made
healthy.
Lastly
, authorities should implement camps related to health awareness.
For example
, in Chandigarh a number of parks available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit daily for walking and do physical activities.

To conclude
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
sweets and watching TV all the day busy in their monotony life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
overcome points. Such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "build"
built
parks and aware about health by implementing camps.
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IELTS essay Many people are not as fit or as active as they used to be, and it is having long term effect on turn on them. Why is this happening? And what are some ways to solve this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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