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Write an email to your friend about a place of interest in your hometown

Write an email to your friend about a place of interest in your hometown LbY2K
How are you doing? It’s been a while since we last met. I heard that you’re spending this summer in Ha Long city, right? Well, it’s a fabulous choice of yours! I would be delighted to show you around if we have a chance to meet on the occasion. I’ll give you a suggestion for a perfect destiation in case we couldn’t meet. Located in the center of the City, Sun World Halong Complex is my favorite place of interest here. The place was divided into 3 major parts: Queen Cable Car & Mystic Mountain, Dragon Park and Typhoon Water Park. It might take more than just a day to explore the whole area so I’d prefer to go to the Dragon Park and the Water Park. Now let’s take a deeper look each of them. The Dragon Park boasts a prominent them park with over than 20 extreme games like Dragon’s Run, Rhino Sling, and Monster Spin. The most adventurous game is the roller coaster with the longest railway in the world and the maximum speed of 105km/h, which I haven’t tried yet because I’m quite scared. Some of the adventurous games limited height for the safety of kids, so if you’re scared or have small siblings, you might want to check out some games such as Tea Cups, Tour De Paris, and Circus Train. Moving on to the Typhoon Water Park, it is accessible for visitors of all ages, mostly children. The park is divided into 3 zones for family, teenagers, and children. There are 12 unique water games, featuring long and spiral slides namely Thunder Falls, Tsunami Spillway, Sun Pool, and Magical Cove, sounds attracting, right! I hope that the next time I visit the Ha Long Park, you’d be there too. I certainly have to go now, hope to see you soon! Best wishes
How are you doing? It’s been a while since we last met.

I heard that you’re spending this summer in Ha Long city, right? Well, it’s a fabulous choice of yours! I would
be delighted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you around if we have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
on the occasion. I’ll give you a suggestion for a perfect
Possible spelling mistake found.
destiation
in case we couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.

Located in the center of the City, Sun World
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Complex is my favorite place of interest here. The place
was divided
into 3 major parts: Queen Cable Car & Mystic Mountain, Dragon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
and Typhoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
. It might take more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a day to explore the whole area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I’d prefer to go to the Dragon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
Park.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s take a deeper look each of them. The Dragon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
boasts a prominent them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
with
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than 20 extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like Dragon’s Run, Rhino Sling, and Monster Spin. The most adventurous game is the roller coaster with the longest railway in the world and the maximum speed of
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "105 km"
105km
/h, which I haven’t tried
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m quite scared.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
limited height for the safety of kids,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if you’re scared or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
siblings, you might want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as Tea Cups, Tour De Paris, and Circus Train.

Moving on to the Typhoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
, it is accessible for visitors of all ages,
mostly
children. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
is divided
into 3 zones for family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, and children. There are 12 unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, featuring long and spiral slides
namely
Thunder Falls, Tsunami Spillway, Sun Pool, and Magical Cove, sounds attracting, right! I hope that the
next
time I visit the Ha Long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
, you’d be there too. I
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
!

Best wishes
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IELTS essay Write an email to your friend about a place of interest in your hometown

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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