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Write an essay about The importance of the music in our lives.

Write an essay about The importance of the music in our lives. nXGpg
These days, music has been become more and more popular in our lives, and it also plays an important role in our mental health. It is doubtful that music benefits us a lot. For example, if we are stressed and even exhausted, we can listen to our favourite songs. By doing this, our nervous all be relax, so it can improve our moods and give us more energy to go on working or studying. Another merit is that we can easily expand our circle relationship. We are prone to immerse ourselves in the atmosphere of the party and make friends with people if we share the same interest in music with them. In some cases, we maybe boost our productivity when we listen to music. Several my friends say that they can more concentrated on their lessons when they study. Some people argue that music does not play an important role in our lives because it is a wasting-time action. However, I do not agree with them because it is the time for us to relax after hard-working day and do not take a lot of our time. If our world is without the music, I can not image how boring it is. Additionally, music adds more color in our lives. To sum up, although people are divided over this issue, we can believe that music is an essential part of our mental lives.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
been become
more and more popular in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and it
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our mental health. It is doubtful that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
benefits us a lot.
For example
, if we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and even exhausted, we can listen to our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
songs. By doing this, our nervous all be
Consider using a past participle here: "relaxed".
relax
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our moods and give us more energy to go on working or studying. Another merit is that we can
easily
expand our circle relationship. We are prone to immerse ourselves in the atmosphere of the party and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
if we share the same interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, we maybe boost our productivity when we listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Several my friends say that they can more concentrated on their lessons when they study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a wasting-time action.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the time for us to relax after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day and do not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
our time. If our world is without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, I can not image how boring it is.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more color in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. To sum up, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are divided
over this issue, we can believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an essential part of our mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
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IELTS essay Write an essay about The importance of the music in our lives.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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