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Write an agree or disagree essay

Write an agree or disagree essay 5apgm
[Forwarded from Shirazieva Raziya] Our contemporary life is, currently, surrounded by advanced technological devices one of which is a TV. This eminent way of entertaining is sometimes considered to be harmful for younger generation. While some people find them valuable in term of educational purposes. I do not think that TV is a significant factor to get educated, and I strongly agree these blue screens are more detrimental for kids' both physical and mental state. Firstly, addicting to constant TV shows and wasting much time in front of a screen are the reasons for deterioration of welfare. Since obvious health issues such as worse eyesight and weight gain may occur among youngsters. According to the recent surveys, British children are spending nearly 6 hours per day on observing television, and it is believed to be the excessive amount. As it is proven that more than 2 hours is harmful for health. Moreover, together with educational shows, there are full range of other programs and movies available most of which, apparently, consist violence and risky behaviours. Despite limits by parents and age restrictions, such scenes containing drinking and smoking or fighting are observed, in most cases, by generation Z. Researchers have proven that it is possible to come across 200, 000 times violence through the screen by the age of 18. Children are unable to differentiate positive and negative, if their beloved protagonists win by fighting and killing the enemies. To sum up, besides several educational programmes, television broadcasts numerous shows and films which are unsuitable for the youth. Thus, it may impact negatively on their behaviour. Also, excessive time wasted on watching TV can lead serious health issues.
[Forwarded from
Shirazieva
Raziya
]

Our contemporary life is,
currently
, surrounded by advanced technological devices one of which is a TV. This eminent way of entertaining is
sometimes
considered to be harmful for younger generation.
While
some
people
find them valuable in term of educational purposes. I do not
think
that TV is a significant factor to
get
educated, and I
strongly
agree
these blue screens are more detrimental for kids' both physical and mental state.

Firstly
, addicting to constant TV
shows
and wasting much time in front of a screen are the reasons for deterioration of welfare. Since obvious health issues such as worse eyesight and weight gain may occur among youngsters. According to the recent surveys, British children are spending
nearly
6 hours per day on observing television, and it
is believed
to be the excessive amount. As it
is proven
that more than 2 hours is harmful for health.

Moreover
, together with educational
shows
, there are full range of other programs and movies available most of which,
apparently
, consist violence and risky
behaviours
. Despite limits by parents and age restrictions, such scenes containing drinking and smoking or fighting
are observed
,
in most cases
, by generation Z. Researchers have proven that it is possible to
come
across 200, 000 times violence through the screen by the age of 18. Children are unable to differentiate
positive
and
negative
, if their beloved protagonists win by fighting and killing the enemies.

To sum up,
besides
several educational
programmes
, television broadcasts numerous
shows
and films which are unsuitable for the youth.
Thus
, it may impact
negatively
on their
behaviour
.
Also
, excessive time wasted on watching TV can lead serious health issues.
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IELTS essay Write an agree or disagree essay

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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