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write about your story what made you sad

write about your story what made you sad xaBON
I have always been proud of having a best friend- her name is Khanh Ha since we were at Secondary School. Everything went well until she entered grade 11th; unfortunately, she had decided to drop out of school and start working to help her parents. In my class, she was one of the best students. She not only always got high marks on exams but also was a good friend because of her kindness. Ha taught me Maths, and she encouraged me to overcome my troubles. Ha’s family went bankrupt because of covid-19. Although they had saved money and got help from relatives, they had not enough money to cover their everyday needs. She loves her family so much, and she does not want to be a burden on her parents, so now she is struggling to earn her livelihood by working for some food stores because her parents are not able to help him with financial support anymore. And what makes her feel most depressed is she missed many other friends at school and me, so she always dreams of being back to school someday. As a best friend, I have missed her so much and I wish I could do something to help her to continue her education.
I have always been proud of having
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend-
her name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khanh
Ha since we were at Secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
. Everything went well until she entered grade 11th; unfortunately, she had decided to drop out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
her parents. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, she was one of the best students. She not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
high marks on exams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her kindness. Ha taught me
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
, and she encouraged me to overcome my troubles. Ha’s family went bankrupt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
. Although they had saved money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from relatives, they had not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to cover their everyday needs. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
her family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, and she does not want to be a burden on her parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
she is struggling to earn her livelihood by working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
her parents are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him with financial support anymore. And what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
her feel most depressed is she missed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she always dreams of being back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
someday. As
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, I have missed her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and I wish I could do something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
her to continue her education.
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IELTS essay write about your story what made you sad

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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