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At present, the media affects people's life significantly. What effects do this cause? Is this a positive or negative development?

At present, the media affects people's life significantly. What effects do this cause? Is this a positive or negative development? pa8K3
In modern era, the effects of mass media on people is indisputably considerable. This essay will examine how it have changed our life and explain why it is beneficial for humankind. First of all, information spread by various of types of media is useful and accessible for almost every one. This means that more people have the chance to learn and to be well-informed about what's going on around them. More than that, advertising industry get the most out of the impact of media. Companies and enterprises could introduce and sell to a plethora types of customer. For instance, Coca Cola Viet Nam utilizes the impact of TV and social media very effectively to boost their products and therefore nearly take the monopoly of the beverages market in Viet Nam As mentioned above, I strongly agree that the impacts of media on people are largely positive. The widespread of news and knowledges leads to a more civilized and modern society. In the past, people in rural areas, where the TV cable and radio connection have not been set, are usually illiterate and ill-informed about the situation of the country. Nowadays, they had the chance to obtain news through TV channel, newspaper and the like. One more thing to say is that the sales of business companies could increase significantly. The more well known of their product throughout the country, the more beneficial for them to sell and take the lead of the industry To sum up what I have stated, the advancement of media sector have resulted in many positive changes with their magnificent benefits
In modern era, the effects of mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
indisputably
considerable. This essay will examine how it
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is beneficial for humankind.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, information spread by various of types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is useful and accessible for almost every one. This means that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the chance to learn and to be well-informed about what's going on around them. More than that, advertising industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most out of the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
and enterprises could introduce and sell to a plethora types of customer.
For instance
, Coca Cola
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam utilizes the impact of TV and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
to boost their products and
therefore
nearly
take the monopoly of the beverages market in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Nam


As mentioned above, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
The phrase 'The widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The widespread of
news and
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
leads to a more civilized and modern society. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural areas, where the TV cable and radio connection have not
been set
, are
usually
illiterate and ill-informed about the situation of the country. Nowadays, they had the chance to obtain news through TV channel, newspaper and the like. One more thing to say is that the sales of business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could increase
significantly
. The more well known of their product throughout the country, the more beneficial for them to sell and take the lead of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
industry


To sum up what I have stated, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sector have resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with their magnificent benefits
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IELTS essay At present, the media affects people's life significantly. What effects do this cause? Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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