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The importance of PE in schools

The importance of PE in schools DYrap
I have to confess, PE has always been one of my favorite classes throughout school. With it been one of my favorite classes, I believe PE is also highly important due to the benefits each student recieves from it. One of the best benefits from PE is improved physical fitness. the use of physical activities throughout the curriculum help to improve the student’s overall current physical fitness. On top of that improving the physical fitness of the children from a young age helps prevent future health issues such as diabetes, heart disease and ashtma. Moreover, many studies have found out that regular participation in physical activity within schools is linked to improved performance in school and brain functions, such as greater attention to the subject and improved memory. To sum up, I believe PE is one of the most important classes in school. It helps to improve one's physical fitness, helps to prevent deadly health issues later on in life and improves the performance of the student during other classes.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
confess, PE has always been one of my favorite
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classes
throughout
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school
. With it
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "was", "were"?
been
one of my favorite
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classes
, I believe PE is
also
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
due to the benefits each student
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieves
from it.

One of the best benefits from PE is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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physical
activities throughout the curriculum
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help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the student’s
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
On top of that
improving the
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of the children from a young age
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helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future health issues such as diabetes, heart disease and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashtma
.

Moreover
,
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many
studies have found out that regular participation in
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physical
activity within
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schools
is linked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
performance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and brain functions, such as greater attention to the subject and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
memory.

To sum up, I believe PE is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deadly health issues later on in life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the performance of the student during other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
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IELTS essay The importance of PE in schools

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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