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Write about your favorite part of your town.

Write about your favorite part of your town. m2Ejn
I have been living in small house in the suburb of Hanoi, Vietnam. Being right in the heart of the village, my house is near all the government headquarters, including Hoa Phu secondary school. It is quite old, yellow premises, which has the breathtaking look of greenery and red flowers in the distance. Coming into the tiled square yard, we can see five ancient tree that have large crowns covering almost the whole school in shade. What I love most of the school is that I can take it easy in the fresh air and sensuous sensation that the trees bring. The school was built about 50 years ago replacing for a demolished temple. It used to be the school for children from 6 to 14 years old but now it is only for 11- to 14-year-old students due to a new school was built over a decade ago. It was very primitive at first because of lack of money but fortunately, it has been developed a lot since then. In the daylight, the school, where I studied at for 4 years, is full of teachers and students with loud noises from everywhere. I don’t like all those noises at all. In fact, the time I like best is after school and in the evenings. As soon as all the students have left, a lot of people come into schoolyard, where kids play sports and adults just walk around as a kind of exercises while chatting with each other. I often go there after dinner to just stroll around, wind down and enjoy the breezes. There is no park in the neighborhood where I live but it is OK because the school has played that role for everybody here. I am about to move but I will absolutely be emotional to remember my ‘green park’ that I spent my childhood with.
I have been living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the suburb of Hanoi, Vietnam. Being right in the heart of the village, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is near all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
headquarters, including
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoa
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phu
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, yellow premises, which has the breathtaking look of greenery and red flowers in the distance. Coming into the tiled square yard, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
five ancient tree that have large crowns covering almost the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in shade. What I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that I can take it easy in the fresh air and sensuous sensation that the trees bring.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was built
about 50 years ago replacing for a demolished temple. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for children from 6 to 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 11- to 14-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
students due to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was built
over a decade ago. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
primitive at
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fortunately
, it has
been developed
a lot since then.

In the daylight, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, where I studied at for 4 years, is full of teachers and students with loud noises from everywhere. I don’t like all those noises at all. In fact, the time I like best is after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and in the evenings. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as all the students have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into schoolyard, where kids play sports and adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
walk around as a kind of exercises while chatting with each other. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go there after dinner to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stroll around, wind down and enjoy the breezes. There is no park in the neighborhood where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is OK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has played that role for everybody here.

I am about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will
absolutely
be emotional to remember my ‘green park’ that I spent my childhood with.
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IELTS essay Write about your favorite part of your town.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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