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Write about Vinod Khosla, what did he do and what did contribute

Write about Vinod Khosla, what did he do and what did contribute dlQj7
Vinod Khosla is an American entrepreneur and venture capitalist. He then co-founded Sun Microsystems. He was the first CEO and chairman of the company. He is also the founder of the firm Khosla Ventures, which he established in 2004. Khosla ranks among the richest Americans and he is one of the most influential people in the Silicon Valley. Vinod Khosla played a key role in initiating and assisting multimedia, video games, semiconductors, computer networking and internet software start-up companies. Sun Microsystems, Inc. was an American technology company that sold computers, computer components, software, and information technology services and created the Java programming language, the Solaris operating system, ZFS, the Network File System, VirtualBox, and SPARC microprocessors. While starting out as a startup, Sun Microsystems quite a few problems or challenges such as, the approach towards the style of computing was completely new than what was already existing in the market. Main counterparts such HP, Dell, IBM were in the top. But in the hindsight, Sun Microsystems cherished in all ways of introducing the open system computing and made a major leap forth. While other manufactureres are protected proprietaries, stand-alone architectures, Sun Microsystems focused on taking companies into the network age. As a result, it has become the dot in. com, providing systems and software with the scalability and reliability needed to drive the electronic marketplace. In 2010, Sun Microsystems was acquired by Oracle, a leading provider of database management systems. All of the computing environments are now taken over by the Oracle conglomerate and the development its subsidiaries such the Java Programming language, Virtualization entity: Virtual Box is very passionately being done till date.
Vinod
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khosla
is an American entrepreneur and venture capitalist. He then co-founded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sun
Microsystems. He was the
first
CEO and chairman of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
is
also
the founder of the firm
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khosla
Ventures, which he established in 2004.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khosla
ranks among the richest
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Americans and
he is one of the most influential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the Silicon Valley.

Vinod
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khosla
played a key role in initiating and assisting multimedia, video games, semiconductors, computer networking and internet software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Sun Microsystems, Inc. was an American technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that sold computers, computer components, software, and information technology services and created the Java programming language, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Solaris
operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZFS
, the Network File
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System
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
VirtualBox
, and SPARC microprocessors.

While starting out as a startup,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sun
Microsystems quite a few problems or challenges such as, the approach towards the style of computing was completely
Use "newer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
new
than what was already existing in the market. Main counterparts such HP, Dell, IBM were in the top.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the hindsight,
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Sun
Microsystems cherished in
Did you mean "always"?
all ways
of introducing the open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
computing and made a major leap forth.

While other
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "manufacturers", the plural form of the noun 'manufacturer'?
manufactureres
are protected
proprietaries, stand-alone architectures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sun
Microsystems focused on taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
into the network age.
As a result
, it has become the dot in. com, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and software with the scalability and reliability needed to drive the electronic marketplace.

In 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sun
Microsystems
was acquired
by Oracle, a leading provider of database management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
computing environments are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
taken over by the Oracle conglomerate and the development its subsidiaries such the Java Programming language, Virtualization entity: Virtual Box is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
passionately
being done
till date.
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IELTS essay Write about Vinod Khosla, what did he do and what did contribute

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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