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Would you like to attend higher education or vocational training after leaving high schools?” In about 250 words, write an essay to state the reasons of your choice.

Would you like to attend higher education or vocational training after leaving high schools? ” In about 250 words, write an essay to state the reasons of your choice. alNMG
In this increasingly competitive society, the paths to success have change radically in the past few decades. It is challenging to seize a job opportunity, furthermore, people find it more daunting to choose the ways after graduating from high schools. Many experts suggest that students with high school diplomas should enrol in tertiary education, others recommend to pursue other choices. In my opinion, I prefer apprenticeship to higher education because of some following reasons. On the one hand, it is universal truth that vocational training provides pupils with a highly specialized environment in all sorts of fields, which cultivates practical skills to ensure postgraduates have a high chance of getting a job. To compare with those bachelor’s degree holders, graduates from vocational schools do not have to run in a long race to gain experience because they have been through many thorough cultivation and education. The proportion of people who successfully attended to large firms and earn a big amounts of money is a great example for this on accounts of they tend to be more energetic and it is essential for recruiters to find buddings with a lot of expertise and knowledge despite not having no Long-term experience. On the other hand, it is undeniable that a school of thought have biases against vocational courses as well as blue- collar jobs which considered as the only livelihood path when failing to enter college, that is a compelling reason that lead the majority implicitly affirming college qualifications allow people to have better socio-economic background. However, this thinking is invalid, higher education just provide students theoretical knowledge or some traditional learning models without practical skills in tandem with apprenticeship, pupils would have great flexibility in accommodate the potential professions that society needs go along with well-paid jobs. For instance, some employment such as IT, hospitality, restaurants, etc. these are occupations that required high vocational skills and workmanship that came first, are prioritized and developing in regard to others. In conclusion, while third-level education make it seem like a good idea after leaving high school, I believe to have more stable financial status and easier to find employments people should pursue vocational education,
In this
increasingly
competitive society, the paths to success have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
radically
in the past few decades. It is challenging to seize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity,
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it more daunting to choose the ways after graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts suggest that students with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
diplomas should enrol in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, others
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend pursuing".
recommend to pursue
other choices. In my opinion, I prefer apprenticeship to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
following reasons.

On the one hand, it is universal truth that vocational training provides pupils with a
highly
specialized environment in all sorts of fields, which cultivates practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to ensure postgraduates have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
chance of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To compare with those bachelor’s degree holders, graduates from vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
run in a long race to gain experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been through
Possible agreement error. The noun cultivation seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much thorough cultivation", "a good deal of thorough cultivation".
many thorough cultivation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
successfully
attended to large firms and earn a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amounts of money is a great example for this on accounts of they tend to be more energetic and it is essential for recruiters to find buddings with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expertise and knowledge despite
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not having no
Long-term experience.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
have biases against vocational courses
as well
as blue- collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which considered as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
livelihood path when failing to enter college,
that is
a compelling reason that lead the majority
implicitly
affirming college qualifications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have better
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
background.
However
, this thinking is invalid, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provide students theoretical knowledge or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional learning models without practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in tandem with apprenticeship, pupils would have great flexibility in accommodate the potential professions that society needs go along with well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employment such as IT, hospitality, restaurants, etc. these are occupations that required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and workmanship that came
first
,
are prioritized
and developing in regard to others.

In conclusion
, while third-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it seem like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
after leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I believe to have more stable financial status and easier to find employments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pursue vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
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IELTS essay Would you like to attend higher education or vocational training after leaving high schools? ” In about 250 words, write an essay to state the reasons of your choice.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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