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Write about the following topic. It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work v.13

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. 13
It is common nowadays to hear people decrying the number of choices people have relative to the past and proclaiming the drawbacks of so many easily-available options in a variety of areas of life. While I think that there is some truth in this, increased choice is ultimately a positive trend because it opens up options outside the mainstream. The main reason why increased choice is considered a negative development is it makes life more complicated. Take for example the number of products people can choose from today. Supermarkets are filled with different brands with hardly any meaningful differences. This can cause people to waste time and energy making choices with little actual impact. This is also the case when it comes to online streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and HBO. Not only do people have to spend time researching these sites but once they make a choice they are limiting what they will be able to watch in the future. If they decide to subscribe to all of them, suddenly they will be paying upwards of $40 a month for basic viewing content. These are a couple of ways in which choice can take up time and make life more complex. Although choice introduces a level of complexity to life, the main benefit is that it opens up options for people outside dominant cultural trends. The best example of this is the changes that have taken place in the music industry over the last 20 years with the advent of iTunes and streaming services. In the past, the big pop acts dominated the radio and album sales. Now the music scene is much more fractured. This makes it more difficult for some artists but also opens up the possibility that you can find a niche of music that you and some other people love. This has been replicated in other areas like podcasting, painting, and film as well. People can find what interests them outside of what major companies are trying to push. That is why increased choice is positive taken as a whole. In conclusion, the drawbacks of increased choice do not outweigh the advantages gained by allowing people to explore what interests them the most. In the future, this will continue and present challenges but also allow for a more diverse cultural experience for rich and poor alike, all over the world.
It is common nowadays to hear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decrying the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have relative to the past and proclaiming the drawbacks of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
easily
-available options in a variety of areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth in this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is
ultimately
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it opens up options outside the mainstream.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more complicated. Take
for example
the number of products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Supermarkets
are filled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands with hardly any meaningful differences. This can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to waste time and energy making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
actual impact. This is
also
the case when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to online streaming services like Netflix, Hulu and HBO. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend time researching these sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
they are limiting what they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in the future. If they decide to subscribe to all of them,
suddenly
they will be paying upwards of $40 a month for basic viewing content. These are a couple of ways in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
can take up time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more complex.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
introduces a level of complexity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the main benefit is that it opens up options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside dominant cultural trends. The best example of this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that have taken place in the music industry over the last 20 years with the advent of iTunes and streaming services. In the past, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pop acts dominated the radio and album sales.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the music scene is much more fractured. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it more difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
opens up the possibility that you can find a niche of music that you and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. This has
been replicated
in other areas like podcasting, painting, and film
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can find what interests them
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
what major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are trying to push.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
taken as a whole.

In conclusion
, the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
do not outweigh the advantages gained by allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore what interests them the most. In the future, this will continue and present challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for a more diverse cultural experience for rich and poor alike, all over the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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