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Write about the following topic: 1- Happiness is considered very important in life2- What is difficult to define? 3- What factors are important in achieving happiness? v.2

: 1- Happiness is considered very important in life2- What is difficult to define? 3- What factors are important in achieving happiness? v. 2
It is fairly easy to comprehend that happiness is quite basic need for every human being to spend cheerful life. While I believe that happiness varies person to person accordingly which can be difficult to describe easily but, there are some numerous things that could be most important to be delighted in life. It is often said that happiness is more essential which plays most significant role in entire life that actually is the only way to spend better and healthy life. Truly said, health is wealth which falls in the definition of happiness which gives the placidity to people in their life completely. Furthermore, a recent survey depicts that happiness can never be make people feel in a same way neither with family nor friend. Whereas, some people hold the opinion that happiness always possess the meaning of luxury life which makes them feel prouder for example, driving an expensive car, big house and different renowned gadgets. While other says, ancient and peasant people had nothing like that but they spend their lives happily. Moreover, number of elements can be done for achieving gladness wherein every individual fix their priority according to wish and goals for instance, some people do hard work in their early age to get better job while some are interested to start their business and few of want to move in showbiz that eventually will become the reasons of their happy life. Personally, I feel very proud and happy when I give my most of the time with parents. Al in all, in order to be happy in life people need to do some desirable thing that can make more happier which will be supportive in daily life as well as in career which plays imperative role for everyone.
It is
fairly
easy to comprehend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is quite basic need for every human being to spend cheerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
varies person to person
accordingly
which can be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
numerous things that could be most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be delighted
in life.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is more essential which plays most significant role in entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that actually is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to spend better and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Truly
said, health is wealth which falls in the definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
which gives the placidity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
completely.
Furthermore
, a recent survey depicts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
Consider replacing "in a same way" with the adverb for "same"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a same way
neither with family nor friend. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
always possess the meaning of luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel prouder
for example
, driving an expensive car,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
renowned gadgets. While other says, ancient and peasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had nothing like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
happily
.

Moreover
, number of elements can
be done
for achieving gladness wherein every individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
their priority according to wish and goals
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work in their early age to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are interested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their business and few of want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in showbiz that
eventually
will become the reasons of their happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Personally
, I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud and happy when I give my most of the time with parents.

Al in all, in order to be happy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
desirable thing that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
which will be supportive in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as in career which plays imperative role for everyone.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay : 1- Happiness is considered very important in life2- What is difficult to define? 3- What factors are important in achieving happiness? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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