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Write about an experience you had with someone using their cell phones in the public. For example, if someone called the ambulance with their phone or they talked about a very private matter loudly in the public. Was it a negative experience or a positive experience? explain with details and State what you have learned from this experience

Write about an experience you had with someone using their cell phones in the public. For example, if someone called the ambulance with their phone or they talked about a very private matter loudly in the public. Was it a negative experience or a positive experience? explain with details and State what you have learned from this experience q1poD
Cell phones provide a fast, efficient way to seek help from the police. For instance, cell phones not only help the police to prevent many serious crimes but also assist them with getting their hands on solid evidence. About a year ago, I witnessed a hideous crime at the subway station. A young guy was abusing an older man both physically and verbally. I was so terrified I couldn’t even move. A lady who was standing next to me started to record a video of the crime scene. That surprised me. what was more shocking is that when the culprit noticed her and started to shout and threaten her, she didn’t even budge! She continued to record steadily, he tried to get to her, but people didn’t let him through. At this moment, a man called the police. The culprit ran away immediately. But thanks to her recording, the police verified his identity and convicted Him for assault. I will never forget this incident. I learned that cell phones can serve us in greater means. We can use our cell phones to protect ourselves and assist other people. Thus, it’s important to grab our phones and seek help from professionals when we feel unsafe or notice someone needs help.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, efficient way to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist them with getting their hands on solid evidence. About a year ago, I witnessed a hideous crime at the subway station. A young guy was abusing an older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
both
physically
and
verbally
. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
terrified I couldn’t even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
. A lady who was standing
next
to me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to record a video of the crime scene. That surprised me. what was more shocking is that when the culprit noticed her and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to shout and threaten her, she didn’t even budge! She continued to record
steadily
, he tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him through. At this moment, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
called the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
. The culprit ran away immediately.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
thanks to her recording, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
verified his identity and convicted Him for assault. I will never forget this incident. I learned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can serve us in greater means. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to protect ourselves and assist other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to grab our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from professionals when we feel unsafe or notice someone needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
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IELTS essay Write about an experience you had with someone using their cell phones in the public. For example, if someone called the ambulance with their phone or they talked about a very private matter loudly in the public. Was it a negative experience or a positive experience? explain with details and State what you have learned from this experience

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Write about an experience you had with someone using their cell phones in the public. For example, if someone called the ambulance with their phone or they talked about a very private matter loudly in the public. Was it a negative experience or a positive experience? explain with details and State what you have learned from this experience