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Write about an event you've been there before

Write about an event you've been there before VwGEm
If you are in live with colors, it is impossible for you to have not heard of the 'Festival of Colors'. Definitely, it is one of the most attractive events in the whole world. Luckily, I engaged in the event last year. Witnessing all the colors was a breathtaking experience for me. I was surrounded by crowd and could feel the positive vibes surrounding me. I am no a fan of crowded places but this time was different. One of the most interesting things, was a group of Indians dancing and singing with ear-catching voices. The only problem for me was the hot weather. The sun was burning and I felt defenseless against it. Almost everyone had put on sunscreen and I was the only person who had not. However, the event was so catching that the joy outweighed the pain. Next time I want to prepare for this event in advance and will not forget to put on sunscreen all over my skin.
If you are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with colors, it is impossible for you to have not heard of the 'Festival of Colors'. Definitely, it is one of the most attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the whole world. Luckily, I engaged in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
last year.

Witnessing all the colors was a breathtaking experience for me. I
was surrounded
by crowd and could feel the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes surrounding me. I am
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
a fan of crowded places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. One of the most interesting things, was a group of Indians dancing and singing with ear-catching voices.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
problem for me was the hot weather. The sun was burning and I felt defenseless against it. Almost everyone had put on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sunscreen and
I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person who had not.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
catching that the joy outweighed the pain.

Next
time I want to prepare for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in advance and will not forget to put on sunscreen all over my skin.

IELTS essay Write about an event you've been there before

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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