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Children are facing more pressure these days .what are the cause of this and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure.

Children are facing more pressure these days. what are the cause of this and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure. 8dPLx
Nowadays, children reel under many type of pressure. The following paragraph will discuss the reason of this problem before suggesting a solution. To begin with, two main reasons can be attributed to this problem. Firstly academic pressure. Student are facing cut- throat competition. Thesedays, they not only compet with their neighbours they also compet globally student. Parents always pressurized their children to compet with other in order to get good position in any task or field. Secondly, social media today number of children use social media with the modern technology. They can get different type of knowledge about different culture on social media. Children are more exposed to other culture which may influence them but their parents order to their children to follow only tradition. So they may feel their wish not completed and they fell stress. However pressure problem can tackle by taking some steps. First of all, education should improve. Parents should not force their children to do hard work for getting good score. They should check the interest of their children after that set in those stream where their interest. Children should take realistic target which they can complete easily. Moreover, score may not matter in any field, give first priority to knowledge. Furthermore, schools should organised youth culture for influence children to adopt their own culture rather than others. And provide important of culture. In other words, language and culture are inter related, if culture lost language also damage so school could organise local events to save culture. To conclude, although there are many issues thesedays children facing pressure, there are some solutions.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reel under
Possible agreement error. The noun type seems to be countable; consider using: "many types".
many type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. The following paragraph will discuss the reason of this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
suggesting a solution. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, two main reasons can
be attributed
to this problem.
Firstly
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. Student are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
- throat competition.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thesedays
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
compet
with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
they
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
compet
globally student. Parents always pressurized their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
compet
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
position in any task or field.
Secondly
, social media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media with the modern technology. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
on social media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are more exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which may influence them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their parents order to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tradition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they may feel their wish not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
completed and
they fell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
problem can tackle by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, education should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. Parents should not force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work for getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the interest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after that set in those stream where their interest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should take realistic target which they can complete
easily
.
Moreover
, score may not matter in any field, give
first
priority to knowledge.
Furthermore
, schools should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "organise"
organised
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
for influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adopt their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
rather
than others. And provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are
Consider using a past participle here: "interred".
inter
related, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
lost language
also
damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
school could
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.
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IELTS essay Children are facing more pressure these days. what are the cause of this and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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