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To be a teacher is a noble profession

To be a teacher is a noble profession Jw1qe
As a young teacher of English, I was really inspired by everything around me: my students, my colleagues, my headmaster and even students’ relatives. I worked in creative environment, prepared motivating lessons, planned after-school activities, developed professionally. There were a lot of funny moments and touching stories, but one I will always remember. Once, in the middle of the term, I was invited to the headmaster’s office and the headmaster proposed to organize individual classes for one of my students - Kate. Kate’s grandmother, who was the sponsor of the lyceum, was sitting next and smiling in her bossy way. As soon as I saw her I realized that there were no chances to escape from the trap. I was expected to agree, and I didn’t have courage to refuse. I used to be a bit of a yes-man. From then on, I spent two days every week with Kate. She was from a wealthy family and was obliged to live up to her name, even if she felt to be the black sheep of the family. At that time she was a very shy apathetic girl with a bunch of psychological problems starting with her desire to spend her life in solitary confinement and keep herself to herself to absence of desire to wear trendy things her grandmother bought her and forced her to wear. While we were having our classes Kate was often reserved and silent, or sometimes neurotic and set in her ways looking at me with her unhappy eyes and not managing to do anything with English tasks though she dreamt to please her granny. To make things worth, trendy looks at the lesson were compulsory. It was a real pain in the neck. After three years of language games, extraordinary projects, school plays, tricky tests, reading in original, and everything in English (and the fact that our brain is a malleable organ) I felt something changed. Kate became more perceptive, tried to find her own solutions to problems and developed her good qualities (she was always conscientious and tended to think first, act later). Previously, Kate wasn’t in the habits of wearing short dresses or skirts. Originally, she was wearing long dresses or skirts in dark colours. The moment I saw her in a provocative red silky skirt and a strapless top was eye-opening for me. Next month she put her name forward for participating in a school play (of course in English). She didn’t immediately become the life and soul of the party but the combination of her workaholic nature and my persistence revealed Kate’s personality and opened this dark horse to the world. There was something in her eyes when she announced that she had decided to be a teacher of English. She looked a sort of an ambitious young person ready to change the world. Her grandmother flew into rage instantly. She had a reputation of an obstinate business woman and a real tyrant in her family. She wanted Kate, a granddaughter named after her, to become a lawyer. I was the only person to blame. Of course, I wanted to clear my name persuading her that we had never even discussed the future with my student (I was sure Kate would be the best ever teacher but was convinced that her grandmother had chosen everything cut and dried), but I failed. Ever since, we met only at the lessons preparing for entrance exams, doing a great amount of homework, but extra classes became a taboo. I knew that Kate wanted to find her feet and took advantage of opportunities, but she was not allowed to choose her future career and reluctantly agreed to get a degree in Law. Five years later, she graduated from university. Being on a steep learning curve for her first year in a famous law firm, she worked hard to impress everyone. In two years, she got married and had a baby. In the meantime, I moved with my family to a bustling but picturesque capital city, found a new job, new house and new students, and we lost touch. In a couple of years, I bought a magazine and to my surprise, read an interview with a founder of a chain of language schools “Perfect English”. It was difficult to believe but English remained Kate’s life-long passion, because it was her face I saw in the photo. She made a name for herself reaching the top of the tree in teaching English and developing educational sphere. Subsequently, she phoned and said that our additional classes had had a profound effect on her. She went with her gut feeling, trusted her instincts, passed specialized exams in teaching English and now runs her business with a new husband and three children.
As a young teacher of English, I was
really
inspired by everything around me: my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, my colleagues, my headmaster and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
relatives. I worked in creative environment, prepared motivating lessons, planned after-school activities, developed
professionally
. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
moments and touching stories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one I will always remember.

Once, in the middle of the term, I
was invited
to the headmaster’s office and the headmaster proposed to organize individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Kate. Kate’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
, who was the sponsor of the lyceum, was sitting
next
and smiling in her bossy way.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her I realized that there were no chances to escape from the trap. I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, and I didn’t have courage to refuse. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a bit of a yes-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. From then on, I spent two days every week with Kate. She was from a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
was obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
, even if she felt to be the black sheep of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. At that time she was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy apathetic girl with a bunch of psychological problems starting with her desire to spend her life in solitary confinement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "herself to".
herself to herself to
absence of desire to wear trendy things her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
her and forced her to wear. While we were having our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
Kate was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reserved and silent, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
neurotic and set in her ways looking at me with her unhappy eyes and not managing to do anything with English tasks though she dreamt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
her granny. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things worth, trendy looks at the lesson were compulsory. It was a real pain in the neck.

After three years of language games, extraordinary projects, school plays, tricky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, reading in original, and everything in English (and the fact that our brain is a malleable organ) I felt something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Kate became more perceptive, tried to find her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solutions to problems and developed her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities (she was always conscientious and tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
first
, act later). Previously, Kate wasn’t in the habits of wearing short dresses or skirts.
Originally
, she was wearing long dresses or skirts in dark
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
. The moment I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her in a provocative red silky skirt and a strapless top was eye-opening for me.
Next
month she put her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
forward for participating in a school play (
of course
in English). She didn’t immediately become the life and soul of the party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the combination of her workaholic nature and my persistence revealed Kate’s personality and opened this dark horse to the world. There was something in her eyes when she announced that she had decided to be a teacher of English. She looked a
If 'sort' is a classification term, 'an' is not necessary. Use "sort of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
sort of an
ambitious young person ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world.

Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
flew into rage
instantly
. She had a reputation of an obstinate business woman and a real tyrant in her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. She wanted Kate, a granddaughter named after her, to become a lawyer. I was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
person to blame.
Of course
, I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
persuading her that we had never even discussed the future with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
(I was sure Kate would be the best
Did you mean "every"?
ever
teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was convinced
that her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandmother
had chosen everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
and dried),
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I failed. Ever since, we met
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at the lessons preparing for entrance exams, doing a great amount of homework,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
became a taboo. I knew that Kate wanted to find her feet and took advantage of opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose her future career and
reluctantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree in Law.

Five years later, she graduated from university. Being on a steep learning curve for her
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
law firm, she worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to impress everyone. In two years, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married and had a baby. In the meantime, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to a bustling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
picturesque capital city, found a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and we lost touch.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
a couple of years, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a magazine and to my surprise, read an interview with a founder of a chain of language schools “Perfect English”. It was difficult to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
English remained Kate’s life-long passion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was her face I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
in the photo. She made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
for herself reaching the top of the tree in teaching English and developing educational sphere.
Subsequently
, she phoned and said that our additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
had had a profound effect on her. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
went with
her gut feeling, trusted her instincts, passed specialized exams in teaching English and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
runs her business with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
husband and three children.
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IELTS essay To be a teacher is a noble profession

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
793 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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