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When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time into what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

It is possibly true that including public facilities such as parks and sports when building a new town could bring some advantages, one of which is that it is a good way to improve public’s health. It is common that people especially workers spending most of the time sitting on the office during their work time. After going home, they may prefer to stay at home rather than going out to do exercises. By constructing these related facilities, it could stimulate people’s interests to go to such places. Therefore, it is beneficial to maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, building these places require numerous resources. For example, the public parks normally have to cover a large area, which means it needs a number of manpower and material resources. In this case, it would place a heavy burden on governments to finish it. Then, the reason why I am in this position is that constructing entertainment venues could also be beneficial to people’s mentality health. It is no doubt that shopping centers usually provide a plethora of entertaining activities for people like watching a movie or enjoy delicious food with their friend. Therefore, it is a good approach to free people from busy work and makes them feel a sense of satisfaction and happiness. These recreational centers ensure the health lifestyle of people. This is due to the fact that these areas often include gyms, which allows them to do all kinds of sports they wanted during their leisure time like jogging and riding. In this case, it is advantageous to break their sedentary lifestyle and keep away from certain diseases such obesity and high blood pressure.
It is
possibly
true that including public facilities such as parks and sports when building a new town could bring
some
advantages, one of which is that it is a
good
way to
improve
public’s health. It is common that
people
especially
workers spending most of the time sitting on the office during their work time. After going home, they may prefer to stay at home
rather
than going out to do exercises. By constructing these related facilities, it could stimulate
people’s
interests to go to such places.
Therefore
, it is beneficial to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
However
, building these places require numerous resources.
For example
, the public parks
normally
have to
cover a large area, which means it needs a number of manpower and material resources.
In this case
, it would place a heavy burden on
governments
to finish it.

Then, the reason why I am in this position is that constructing entertainment venues could
also
be beneficial to
people’s
mentality health. It is no doubt that shopping centers
usually
provide a plethora of entertaining activities for
people
like watching a movie or enjoy delicious food with their friend.
Therefore
, it is a
good
approach to free
people
from busy work and
makes
them feel a sense of satisfaction and happiness. These recreational centers ensure the health lifestyle of
people
.
This is due to the fact that
these areas
often
include gyms, which
allows
them to do all kinds of sports they wanted during their leisure time like jogging and riding.
In this case
, it is advantageous to break their sedentary lifestyle and
keep
away from certain diseases such obesity and high blood pressure.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that when designing new towns, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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