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Write about a journey you enjoyed

Write about a journey you enjoyed Bw83m
Traveling is a hobby for me. I love to travel to each part of my country, Vietnam to discover nature, make new friends as well as learn about habits and customs. I made a trip to Sapa, which is one of the most beautiful destinations in Vietnam. Back in the beginning months of 2020, before the Covid-19 appeared and prevented us from long and great trips, I took a leaves to spend all 2 days to discover Sapa alone. The easiest, most convenient, and most popular way of getting to Sapa is by train so I took around 8 hours to get to Lao Cai railway station from Hanoi, then took a shuttle bus to reach Sapa. I booked a room in a 5-star hotel, which is named Pao’s and located at the end of the town. I started my first day with a trip to Fansipan, which is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. I took a cable car to get to the top and enjoyed the scenic view from its window. At the top of Fansipan, I was almost hugged by white clouds and the weather was so cold. I took many photos of stunning mountain scenery and even felt like I could touch the sky. I had a buffet for lunch in a famous restaurant nearby and then came back to the hotel in the middle of the day. In the afternoon, I hired a motorbike and drove by myself to go to Cat Cat village which is nestled in a beautiful valley about three kilometers from Sapa Town. This is the old village of ethnic groups and impressed me by the peacefully picturesque sceneries, traditional souvenirs, and hospitality. Cat Cat waterfall was the most significant scene I have ever seen in my life.
Traveling is a hobby for me. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel to each part of my country, Vietnam to discover nature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends
as well
as learn about habits and customs. I made a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapa
, which is one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
destinations in Vietnam.

Back in the beginning months of 2020,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the Covid-19 appeared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
us from long and great trips, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
to spend all 2 days to discover
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapa
alone. The easiest, most convenient, and most popular way of getting to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapa
is by train
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
around 8 hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to Lao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cai
railway station from Hanoi, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
a shuttle bus to reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapa
. I booked a room in a 5-star hotel, which
is named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pao
’s and located at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the town.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
my
first
day with a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fansipan
, which is the highest mountain in Southeast Asia.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
a cable car to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the top and enjoyed the scenic view from its window. At the top of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fansipan
, I was almost hugged by white clouds and the weather was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
photos of stunning mountain scenery and even felt like I could touch the sky. I had a buffet for lunch in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
restaurant nearby and then came back to the hotel in the middle of the day.

In the afternoon, I hired a motorbike and drove by myself to go to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
Cat Cat
village which
is nestled
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
valley about three kilometers from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sapa
Town. This is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
village of ethnic groups and impressed me by the
peacefully
picturesque sceneries, traditional souvenirs, and hospitality.
Possible typo: you repeated a word
Cat Cat
waterfall was the most significant scene I have ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in my life.
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IELTS essay Write about a journey you enjoyed

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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