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Write about a holiday that you went on that was really important to you. Say where you went and what you saw, and explain why it was the best holiday you ever had.

Write about a holiday that you went on that was really important to you. Say where you went and what you saw, and explain why it was the best holiday you ever had. ljmMW
The best holiday ever. To start, I must say that I had travelled very little in my life, consequently I don't have many places to choose, but I have one place that I love and I will always love, it is Barcelona. Firstly, it was a school trip and we went by plane, and it was my first time travelling, I saw the sky while we were high and it was so amazing and wonderful. We stayed there for four days and started for visiting the downtown that it is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. Secondly, while we were there we saw a lot of difference places, such as various churches and monuments that were really impressive, we also went to all the museum we could go and there we saw a lot of incredible art pieces. Moreover we were invited to some expotitions that were as beautiful as the other pieces we saw. To conclude, that was one of the most amazing holiday I ever had because I saw a lot of difference monuments and I learn a lot about them as well as I enjoy them.
The best holiday ever.

To
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start
, I
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must
say that I had travelled
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very
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little
in my life,
consequently
I don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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places
to choose,
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but
I have one
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place
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and I will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, it is Barcelona.

Firstly
, it was a school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trip and
we went by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, and it was my
first
time travelling, I
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saw
the sky while we were high and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
amazing and wonderful. We stayed there for four days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
for visiting the downtown that it is
undoubtedly
one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
I had ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

Secondly
, while we were there we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of difference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, such as various churches and monuments that were
really
impressive, we
also
went to all the museum we could go and there we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of incredible art pieces.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
we
were invited
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
expotitions
that were as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
as the other pieces we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
.

To conclude
, that was one of the most amazing holiday I ever had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of difference monuments and I learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
about them
as well
as I enjoy them.

IELTS essay Write about a holiday that you went on that was really important to you. Say where you went and what you saw, and explain why it was the best holiday you ever had.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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