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Write a story with the following title: A bus journey I will never forget

Write a story with the following title: A bus journey I will never forget BLEn6
I have performed many various trips which give me a lot of memories. However, if I have to pick out one bus journey that I will never forget, I would name the class tour to Phu Quoc three years ago. When arriving at Ngoc Island, we witnessed a car accident in front of us. It seemed that the young girl in the car lost her balance, and crashed into the slope. Quite frightened, we braked hard and jumped out of our car. We tried to pull out the girl trapped in the car. The girl escaped death by a hair's breadth, shivering like an aspen leaf. After a while recovering from her panic, she timidly thanked us for having rescued her in time then she looked at her flat tire in despair. So we decided to start our journey again together with Huong - the girl's name. At last, we reached our destination very late in the evening. Before saying goodbye to us, the girl didn't forget to thank us again. Now whenever I recall Phu Quoc as well as Huong, I wonder whether she still keeps that unforgettable memory of such a dangerous trip.
I have performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various trips which give me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
memories.
However
, if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pick out one bus journey that I will never forget, I would name the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
tour to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phu
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quoc
three years ago.

When arriving at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ngoc
Island, we witnessed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accident in front of us. It seemed that the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
lost her balance, and crashed into the slope. Quite frightened, we braked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and jumped out of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. We tried to pull out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
trapped in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
escaped death by a hair's breadth, shivering like an aspen leaf. After a while recovering from her panic, she
timidly
thanked us for having rescued her in time then she looked at her flat tire in despair.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our journey again together with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huong
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the girl's name. At last, we reached our destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late in the evening.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
saying goodbye to us, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
didn't forget to thank us again.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
whenever I recall
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phu
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quoc
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huong
, I wonder whether she
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
that unforgettable memory of such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
trip.
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IELTS essay Write a story with the following title: A bus journey I will never forget

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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