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A dream holiday you want to travel

A dream holiday you want to travel 6Kb5r
Most of all I want to travel all around the world. I want to see new places and learn about different cultures. So in the future, I will choose city breaks. There are so many places I want to visit. One of them is South Korea. It will be a trip with my sister and we’ll stay in a hotel. The first place I want to go is SM TOWN where my idols and many other groups work, I want to come to see and take photos with the hope that I” ll meet my idols - whom I admire very much. Coming to Korea, I think we” ll go to Namsan Tower which is famous for many beautiful scenes where appear in a lot of Korean movies. After that, we will walk together on the street and enjoy street food such as Tteokbokki (Spicy rice cake), Odeng (Fish cake), Kimbap (Seaweed rice rolls), Korean fried chicken, and more. It will be my dream holiday because I really like the cold climate, watching the snowfall, wearing warm clothes and eating the food that I see on TV, seeing the beautiful scenery that I have wished every time I watch a Korean film on TV, will be released all my stress.
Most of all I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to travel all around the world. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
new places and learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the future, I will choose city breaks. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to visit. One of them is South Korea. It will be a trip with my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sister and
we’ll stay in a hotel. The
first
place I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go is SM TOWN where my idols and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other groups work, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and take photos with the hope that I” ll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my idols
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
whom I admire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. Coming to Korea, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we” ll go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Namsan
Tower which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenes where appear in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Korean movies. After that, we will walk together on the street and enjoy street food such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tteokbokki
(Spicy rice cake),
Possible spelling mistake found.
Odeng
(Fish cake),
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kimbap
(Seaweed rice rolls), Korean fried chicken, and more. It will be my dream holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
really
like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate, watching the snowfall, wearing warm clothes and eating the food that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV, seeing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenery that I have wished every time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a Korean film on TV, will
be released
all my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
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IELTS essay A dream holiday you want to travel

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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