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Write a story from 120 to 160 words about Steve and Alan going scuba diving.

Write a story from 120 to 160 words about Steve and Alan going scuba diving. JV11j
The sun was shining as Steve and Alan boarded the boat to go scuba diving. It was a sunny day, and they were in good shape for the journey in the Caribbean. The boat was floating on the water while Steve and Alan were savouring the appealing undersea coral reef. Hours after, they decided to end the journey and got on the boat. However, it seemed like something was holding them back, and then the two people realized they had got stuck in a whirlpool. Steve and Alan were considerably alarmed - the eddy was getting bigger, and soon they would get caught in it. Consequently, they called out for help at the top of their lungs. Fortunately, the ship pilot noticed them instantaneously, so he steered the boat towards the whirlpool. The sailor approached the eddy, and then he timely lifted Steve and Alan. It was such a horrific experience beyond belief, but they were in safe hands.
The sun was shining as Steve and Alan boarded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
to go scuba diving. It was a sunny day, and they were in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape for the journey in the Caribbean.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
was floating on the water while Steve and Alan were
Possible spelling mistake found.
savouring
the appealing undersea coral reef. Hours after, they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the journey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
.
However
, it seemed like something was holding them back, and then the two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realized they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck in a whirlpool.

Steve and Alan were
considerably
alarmed
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the eddy was getting bigger, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught in it.
Consequently
, they called out for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
at the top of their lungs.
Fortunately
, the ship pilot noticed them
instantaneously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he steered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
towards the whirlpool.

The sailor approached the eddy, and then he timely lifted Steve and Alan. It was such a horrific experience beyond belief,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were in safe hands.
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IELTS essay Write a story from 120 to 160 words about Steve and Alan going scuba diving.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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