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What are the problems and the solutions?

What are the problems and the solutions? Nwe2g
It's no secret that modern technological advancements make our lives a lot more convenient and easier. Yet some devices seem to do more harm than good for certain individuals. Such has been the case with children, nowadays, spending most of their free time indoors on computers and televesion rather than socializing in person. This situation, in turn, leads to a number of problems which need to be resolved as soon as possible. Spending a lot of time in front of screens is a sign of a sedentary lifestyle. As we all know, being a couch potato is detrimental to your physical, mental, and emotional health. Firstly, when a child is constantly spending a lot of time on computers and TVs, he is damaging his physical health. Not being active and constantly refraining from exercise, makes it easier for the kid to become obese. Secondly, as a person avoids any type of intellectual activity that challenges your brain, school grades are bound to drop and this can lead to stress, anxiety, insecurities, and continuous fights with parents. Last but not least, the kid's emotional health is damaged too. When he refuses to spend time with friends and family or refrains from any type of activity that requires socializing, a child may feel alone which can lead to other serious implications, such as loneliness, paranoia, and even depression. Therefore, it is of upmost importance that we make efforts to deal with situations like these. What children lack in these scenarios is proper guidance and education. To begin with, schools ought to teach students about all the health risks and problems that are bound to rise when someone obsesses over television and computers. This will encourage the youngsters to engage in more challenging activites and limit the amount of time that they spend indoors. Furthermore, parents must do everything in their power and ensure that their children don't get caught up in situations such as these. Whenever, parents feel that their kids may be spending a lot of time in front of screens, they should sit down, discuss, and explain to their children all the damage that they're doing to themselves. If a child is not that obedient, perhaps it's in the parent's best interest to become less lenient and restrict TV and computer use completely. To conclude, nowadays, childen's obsession over computers and televisions is getting out of hand. Overuse of these devices leads to some serious health implications that become even harder to deal with once you're an adult. However, with proper guidance, the kids will become wiser with their choices and realize that they need to limit the amount of time they spend indoors.
It's no secret that modern technological advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more convenient and easier.
Yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
devices seem to do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for certain individuals. Such has been the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, nowadays, spending most of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
indoors on computers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
televesion
rather
than socializing in person. This situation, in turn, leads to a number of problems which need to
be resolved
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of screens is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a sedentary lifestyle. As we all know, being a couch potato is detrimental to your physical, mental, and emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
, when a child is
constantly
spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers and TVs, he is damaging his physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Not being active and
constantly
refraining from exercise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for the kid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
obese.
Secondly
, as a person avoids any type of intellectual activity that challenges your brain, school grades
are bound
to drop and this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety, insecurities, and continuous fights with parents. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the kid's emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is damaged
too. When he refuses to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends and family or refrains from any type of activity that requires socializing, a child may feel alone which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to other serious implications, such as loneliness, paranoia, and even depression.

Therefore
, it is of upmost importance that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to deal with situations like these. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lack in these scenarios is proper guidance and education. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, schools ought to teach students about all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and problems that
are bound
to rise when someone obsesses over television and computers. This will encourage the youngsters to engage in more challenging
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
and limit the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that they spend indoors.
Furthermore
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do everything in their power and ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught up in situations such as these. Whenever, parents feel that their kids may be spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of screens, they should sit down, discuss, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
all the damage that they're doing to themselves. If a child is not that obedient, perhaps it's in the parent's best interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less lenient and restrict TV and computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
completely.

To conclude
, nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
's obsession over computers and televisions is getting out of hand. Overuse of these devices leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
implications that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
even harder to deal with once you're an adult.
However
, with proper guidance, the kids will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
wiser with their choices and realize that they need to limit the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend indoors.
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IELTS essay What are the problems and the solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
444 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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