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Write a story about your holiday in a place that very different from your own city

Write a story about your holiday in a place that very different from your own city DaVra
Summer vacation had begun. Mohit was ecstatic. During the holidays, his father had planned a vacation to Kullu and Manali. The planning had begun a week prior. He was warned that when it rains, even summer evenings may be extremely chilly. As a result, along with other clothing, several woolen garments were packed. They were supposed to leave Delhi on the 25th of May on an air-conditioned bus from ISBT in New Delhi. Hotels had been reserved in advance. The night ride was uneventful save for a delicious meal at one of the dhabas along the GT Road. As they reached Kullu, things began to shift. The Bias river, as well as the neighboring woodlands and apple orchards, provided a unique yet attractive setting. Manali and its surroundings were stunning to them. They had viewed a lovely five-star resort with a view of the Bias River. The rooms were large, well-kept, and spotless. They could see the river and the Himalayas' far-flung snow-capped summits. A trip to the Vashishta Baths was an unforgettable experience. They went to the Hidimba Temple and the Vyas Shrine, both of which are well-known. A town along the river has been chosen by many European visitors. They made headlines for all the wrong reasons. Many of them were strong drinkers and drug users. The trip to the Salang Valley and the legendary Rohtang Pass was a thrilling and unforgettable adventure. Good things, they say, don't last long. They had made plans to spend twenty days in Manali and Kullu. This, however, was not to be. His uncle flashed a message saying that the date for his IIT Admission counselling had been set for the following Monday. He couldn't afford to take any chances. He needed to leave the small paradise in order to prepare for his next mission.
Summer vacation had begun.
Mohit
was ecstatic. During the holidays, his father had planned a vacation to
Kullu
and
Manali
. The planning had begun a week prior. He
was warned
that when it rains, even summer evenings may be
extremely
chilly.
As a result
, along with other clothing, several woolen garments
were packed
. They
were supposed
to
leave
Delhi on the 25th of May on an air-conditioned bus from
ISBT
in New Delhi. Hotels had
been reserved
in advance. The night ride was uneventful save for a delicious meal at one of the
dhabas
along the GT Road. As they reached
Kullu
, things began to shift. The Bias
river
,
as well
as the neighboring woodlands and apple orchards, provided a unique
yet
attractive setting.
Manali
and its surroundings were stunning to them. They had viewed a lovely five-star resort with a view of the Bias
River
. The rooms were large, well-
kept
, and spotless. They could
see
the
river
and the Himalayas' far-flung snow-capped summits. A trip to the
Vashishta
Baths was an unforgettable experience. They went to the
Hidimba
Temple and the
Vyas
Shrine, both of which are well-known. A town along the
river
has
been chosen
by
many
European visitors. They made headlines for all the
wrong
reasons.
Many
of them were strong drinkers and drug users. The trip to the
Salang
Valley and the legendary
Rohtang
Pass was a thrilling and unforgettable adventure.
Good
things, they say, don't last long. They had made plans to spend twenty days in
Manali
and
Kullu
. This,
however
, was not to be. His uncle flashed a message saying that the date for his IIT Admission counselling had
been set
for the following Monday. He couldn't afford to take any chances. He needed to
leave
the
small
paradise in order to prepare for his
next
mission.
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IELTS essay Write a story about your holiday in a place that very different from your own city

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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