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Write a story about crime.

Since Jack was raised in a poor family in the suburbs, he worked from an early age and turned to crime when he was just 14 years old. One day, he was sentenced to five years in jail after shoplifting. The judge's verdict seemed grossly unfair and hefty. In prison, he met several professional offenders with numerous criminal records. Also, he learned how to commit other crimes like smuggling and armed robbery. After he was released, he reoffended with joining an extremely dangerous band. First, they armed robbed from a bank and kidnapped more than ten innocent people to escape from the police. After that, Jack and his collaborators hijacked a big plane. The band posed a threat to society. Therefore, police and government were trying to take the band down and offered people money for information about their location. Finally, he was charged with forging a passport when he was running across the border. In court, the eyewitnesses testified against him. Being convicted of several violations led to his life sentence.
Since Jack
was raised
in a poor family in the suburbs, he worked from an early age and turned to crime when he was
just
14 years
old
. One day, he
was sentenced
to five years in jail after shoplifting. The judge's verdict seemed
grossly
unfair and hefty. In prison, he met several professional offenders with numerous criminal records.
Also
, he learned how to commit other crimes like smuggling and armed robbery. After he
was released
, he
reoffended
with joining an
extremely
dangerous
band.
First
, they armed robbed from a bank and kidnapped more than ten innocent
people
to escape from the police. After that, Jack and his collaborators hijacked a
big
plane
. The band posed a threat to society.
Therefore
, police and
government
were trying to take the band down and offered
people
money for information about their location.
Finally
, he
was charged
with forging a passport when he was running across the border. In court, the eyewitnesses testified against him.
Being convicted
of several violations led to his life sentence.
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IELTS essay Write a story about crime.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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