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Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?

Arrangement of recreational activities including games and sports is supposed to be delivered by the companies in the respective neighbourhoods. This essay will argue why it falls under companies’ responsibility to serve local community regardless of their incapability of doing so. Companies, private or government owned, usually use local manpower and infrastructure to gain profit so it is their duty to serve respective neighbourhoods. As delinquency has been a rising problem nowadays, local companies ought to deliver a solution to this. For example, companies can arrange sports tournament as well as improve the local park in order to keep young boys and girls busy and help locals to get rid of their sedentary lifestyles. Furthermore, companies, using their reputation can invite sports champions or figureheads to inspire young population so that the message may well get through to them. Therefore, being a responsible advocate for social awareness, companies should serve their duty by improving sports and social facilities. On the other hand, private companies whose branches are countrywide, could argue about the responsibility. Although, they use the local infrastructure, but they are returning the favour by employing local people. In their opinion, government owned companies should step up and improve the lifestyles of local people as they are getting benefited by the local tax payers. For instance, a recent study from Harvard University suggests that government owned profitable organizations own two-third share of 80% local parks in Ohio State. So, according to some say, private and government owned companies should share the responsibility to detoxify lifestyles affected. In conclusion, this essay discussed that companies should take necessary steps to ameliorate effects of delinquency by improving recreational infrastructures despite of their ownership status. In my opinion, I completely agree with the notion that local communities should get benefited and local infrastructure including sports and social facilities should be provided by companies
Arrangement of recreational activities including games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is supposed
to
be delivered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the respective
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhoods’ is British English.
neighbourhoods
. This essay will argue why it falls under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
responsibility to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community regardless of their incapability of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
, private or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
,
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
manpower and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
to gain profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is their duty to serve respective
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbourhoods’ is British English.
neighbourhoods
. As delinquency has been a rising problem nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
ought to deliver a solution to this.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournament
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
park in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
young boys and girls busy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of their sedentary lifestyles.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, using their reputation can invite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
champions or figureheads to inspire young population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the message may well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through to them.
Therefore
, being a responsible advocate for social awareness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should serve their duty by improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social facilities.

On the other hand
, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
whose branches are countrywide, could argue about the responsibility. Although, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are returning the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
by employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In their opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should step up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they are getting benefited by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This word is normally spelled as one.
tax payers
.
For instance
, a recent study from Harvard University suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
profitable organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
two-third share of 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
parks in Ohio State.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say, private and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should share the responsibility to detoxify lifestyles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should take necessary steps to ameliorate effects of delinquency by improving recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructures
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
their ownership status. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefited and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social facilities should
be provided
by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
companies
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IELTS essay Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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