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write a story about A happy celebration

write a story about A happy celebration 2rnRX
New Year's Eve is typically a joyous occasion, but the last day of the previous lunar year was particularly memorable. Traditionally, my family gathered together at home. While my dad and I were making “Banh Chung”, my mom was cleaning the house. We all felt blue because it had been two years since my brother moved to Korea to work. It cost a fortune to buy a plane ticket during Tet holiday, so we just communicated with him via phone calls. My family sat together after the reunion supper to watch the Spring Festival Gala… My parents were talking with my brother when he said that a present would be delivered to my house and then hung up. We were on the rooftop at 00: 00, watching fireworks. Suddenly, someone rang the doorbell. Outside, there was a giant suspicious gift box. We were very puzzled at first, then excited because we didn’t know what was in the box. I rushed to open it. And we all burst into tears of joy: my brother came out to the surprise of my whole family! Mom hurried to hug him, while my dad tried to hide his tears. I was completely speechless but couldn't help wearing the broadest smile.
New Year's Eve is
typically
a joyous occasion,
but
the last day of the previous lunar year was
particularly
memorable.
Traditionally
, my family gathered together at home. While my dad and I were making “
Banh
Chung”, my mom was cleaning the
house
. We all felt blue
because
it had been two years since my brother
moved
to Korea to work. It cost a fortune to
buy
a
plane
ticket during Tet holiday,
so
we
just
communicated with him via phone calls. My family sat together after the reunion supper to
watch
the Spring Festival Gala… My parents were talking with my brother when he said that a present would
be delivered
to my
house
and then hung up. We were on the rooftop at 00: 00, watching fireworks.
Suddenly
, someone rang the doorbell. Outside, there was a giant suspicious gift box. We were
very
puzzled at
first
, then excited
because
we didn’t know what was in the box. I rushed to open it. And we all burst into tears of joy: my brother came out to the surprise of my whole family! Mom hurried to hug him, while my dad tried to
hide
his tears. I was completely speechless
but
couldn't
help
wearing the broadest smile.
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IELTS essay write a story about A happy celebration

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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