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Write a paragraph to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work.

Write a paragraph to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work. ne1GP
Doing volunteer works bring lots of advantages for students in both physical and mental health. Firstly, being a volunteer enhances students' social and communication skills as it allows students to connect to the others in order to solve problems. Moreover, volunteer work also helps students to feel relax after stressful lessons at school. Its meaning is to assist people or animals in need and that leads to students' sense of fulfilment and happiness of helping the others. The better students feel, the more likely they are to have positive views of life. In addition, they will have a chance to try out new experience in a career so as to be ready for their future life. To conclude, volunteer work is a meaningful activity, especially for students as it is beneficial for their future and also brings significant pleasure when helping the community.
Doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
works bring lots of advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in both physical and mental health.
Firstly
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
enhances students' social and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to connect to the others in order to solve problems.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
work
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to feel relax after stressful lessons at school. Its meaning is to assist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or animals in need and that leads to students' sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
and happiness of helping the others. The better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel, the more likely they are to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
views of life.
In addition
, they will have a chance to try out new experience in a career
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be ready for their future life.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
work is a meaningful activity,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it is beneficial for their future and
also
brings significant pleasure when helping the community.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph to talk about the benefits of students doing volunteer work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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