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Many people prefer to live in the city because of its convenience and job opportunities.

Many people prefer to live in the city because of its convenience and job opportunities. jQ8Ow
Nowadays, people are quite concerned about choosing a suitable place to live their own life. While many people prefer to live in the city because of its convenience and job opportunities, many others suppose living in rural areas is better. In the first place, the main advantage of living in rural areas is related to health. Many people like to live in the country areas since the quality of the air is better than in cities and less noise pollution as well. Moreover, scientists have found that the polluted air in cities into lungs is driving up rates of lungs cancer and asthma. Therefore, living in the country can also help to avoid respiratory disease. Besides that, people who live in the country believe that they are healthier than those who live in cities because they don’t have lots of stress and have more time to relax. But, living in a rural area has a drawback as well. There are fewer public health facilities in the area and should there be a public hospital, the quality of the services is usually below the standard. On the other hand, a huge amount of people chooses to live in the cities due to various benefits such as convenience and more job opportunities. Firstly, the vast majority of well-paid jobs are located in cities, people often have opportunities to build and develop their career and business, which are doctors, lawyers, manager in companies or worker, shopkeeper, accountant. . . Secondly, cities also contain a lot of modern facilities and social services such as health care, education, especially entertainment. There are various kinds of entertainment, including tourism attractions, shopping centers, cinemas, parks, and museums along with convenient traffic networks which are expected to make people’s life more interesting and more comfortable. Nonetheless, when living in cities, people face environmental pollution which can lead to seriously affects their health. All things considered, it seems to me that although living in the countryside you will have better health and a cleaner environment, city life will allow you to enjoy many modern conveniences and have a better life condition.
Nowadays,
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people
are quite concerned about choosing a suitable place to
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live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience and job opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others suppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is better.

In the
first
place, the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
since the quality of the air is better than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and less noise pollution
as well
.
Moreover
, scientists have found that the polluted air in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
into lungs is driving up rates of lungs cancer and asthma.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the country can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to avoid respiratory disease.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the country believe that they are healthier than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t have lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and have more time to relax.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has a drawback
as well
. There are fewer public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and should there be a public hospital, the quality of the services is
usually
below the standard.

On the other hand
, a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chooses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to various benefits such as convenience and more job opportunities.
Firstly
, the vast majority of well-paid jobs
are located
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have opportunities to build and develop their career and business, which are doctors, lawyers, manager in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or worker, shopkeeper, accountant.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Secondly
,
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cities
also
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
modern facilities and social services such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, education,
especially
entertainment. There are various kinds of entertainment, including tourism attractions, shopping centers, cinemas, parks, and museums along with convenient traffic networks which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more interesting and more comfortable. Nonetheless, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face environmental pollution which can lead to
seriously
affects their health.

All things considered, it seems to me that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside you will have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and a cleaner environment, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
you to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern conveniences and have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
condition.
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IELTS essay Many people prefer to live in the city because of its convenience and job opportunities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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