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write a paragraph of about the Internet

write a paragraph of about the Internet pKQdy
The Internet is becoming increasingly popular in some countries, if not the entire world. The growth of the Internet also comes with both positive and negative sides. Indeed, the Internet can maximize its use value to collect information, communicate with family and friends far away, entertain, etc. The Internet has been serving people's daily lives more and more, so it is an integral part. However, we cannot ignore the negative features of the Internet that affect people's lives. We can observe how young people abuse the Internet. For example, almost everyone is dependent on them, which has effects like myopia, misuse of the Internet for personal gain, less direct interaction with family and friends, and obesity caused by cell phone use, etc. As a result, we must make sound judgments about the Internet's benefits while also seeking strategies to minimize internet usage as much as feasible. Instead of utilizing the Internet to gather information, read books, plan activities with family, learn new skills, participate in sports to improve health, and so on. Allow them to fully absorb and promote the tremendous value that the Internet provides to our human society.
The Internet is becoming
increasingly
popular in
some
countries, if not the entire world. The growth of the Internet
also
comes
with both
positive
and
negative
sides.
Indeed
, the Internet can maximize its
use
value to collect information, communicate with family and friends far away, entertain, etc. The Internet has been serving
people
's daily
lives
more and more,
so
it is an integral part.
However
, we cannot
ignore
the
negative
features of the Internet that affect
people
's
lives
. We can observe how young
people
abuse the Internet.
For example
, almost everyone is dependent on them, which has effects like myopia, misuse of the Internet for personal gain, less direct interaction with family and friends, and obesity caused by cell phone
use
, etc.
As a result
, we
must
make
sound judgments about the Internet's benefits while
also
seeking strategies to minimize internet usage as much as feasible.
Instead
of utilizing the Internet to gather information, read books, plan activities with family, learn new
skills
, participate in sports to
improve
health, and
so
on.
Allow
them to
fully
absorb and promote the tremendous value that the Internet provides to our human society.
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IELTS essay write a paragraph of about the Internet

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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