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an accident or injury that you have had or has happened to someone you know

an accident or injury that you have had or has happened to someone you know OR9K3
Here I would like to tell you about a traffic accident that I witnessed. On the way home from school, I saw a boy riding a motorbike not only without a helmet, but he was speeding and overtaking.  When he reached the crossroads, even though the traffic light had turned red, he kept going. and as a result, he ran into an old woman crossing the street. Bystanders panicked and quickly called an ambulance.  He and the old woman lay motionless on the road, bleeding profusely,  and the car was also badly damaged. After about 5 minutes, the ambulance arrived and took both of them to the hospital. I don't know how the two of them are,  but I hope they will be fine.  I hope that everyone will seriously obey traffic laws to protect themselves and society.
Here I would like to
tell
you about a traffic accident that I witnessed. On the way home from school, I
saw
a boy riding a motorbike not
only
without a helmet,
but
he was speeding and overtaking.  When he reached the crossroads,
even though
the traffic light had turned red, he
kept
going.
and
as a result
, he ran into an
old
woman crossing the street. Bystanders panicked and
quickly
called an ambulance.  He and the
old
woman lay motionless on the road, bleeding 
profusely
,
 
and the car was
also
badly
damaged. After about 5 minutes, the ambulance arrived and took both of them to the hospital. I don't know how the two of them are,
 
but
I hope they will be fine.  I hope that everyone will 
seriously
obey traffic laws to protect themselves and society.
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IELTS essay an accident or injury that you have had or has happened to someone you know

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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