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Write a paragraph of 150 words about the disadvantages of living in the city.

Write a paragraph of 150 words about the disadvantages of living in the city. oRkyD
In my point of view, living in a metropolis has at least 3 drawbacks. First of all, there is a lack of safeness since big cities tend to have higher chances of crime committing. It is really complex to control crimes and social incidents due to the fact that downtown areas contain a huge number of people, this leads to a quite hazardous life. The cost of living is also said to be another disadvantage of living in the metropolitan areas, for instance, normal living such as electricity bills or personal needs like food, drinks, gasoline are also considerably more costly. Last but not least, the absence of green place in big cities is a huge issue. As lots people are moving from the suburbs to capitals, parks and green places are being replaced with buildings for human demand. All things considered, life in large cities contain a lot of downsides.
In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a metropolis has at least 3 drawbacks.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is a lack of safeness since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities tend to have higher chances of crime committing. It is
really
complex to control crimes and social incidents due to the fact that downtown areas contain a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this leads to a quite hazardous life. The cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is
also
said to be another disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the metropolitan areas,
for instance
, normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
such as electricity bills or personal needs like food, drinks, gasoline are
also
considerably
more costly. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the absence of green place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities is a huge issue. As lots
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are moving from the suburbs to capitals, parks and green places are
being replaced
with buildings for human demand. All things considered, life in large cities contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
downsides.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph of 150 words about the disadvantages of living in the city.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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