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Describe an occasion that you wore formal clothes?

Describe an occasion that you wore formal clothes? GM9y2
In IRAN we usually wear formal clothes in weddings party but for me first time I wore a formal clothes for an interview for IMAM SADEGH University. There are some people who have a different act when they wear a formal or special cloth; but for another people it doesn’t matter what they have worn, they just act and do everything same as before. So it depends on our perspective or our approach to the life as default and after that it influences on our behavior; you may be wear a special cloth but act like a stupid or a general person; conversely you may be wear a low level shirt or pants or coat or something else but act like a professional person; consequently your personality is more important than other factor like cloth. In IRAN we have a particular time to change our cloth and it is AIDE NOROOZE; for coming a new year. There are several stores for buy clothes; some stores have expensive goals and a little of them have a fairness price; as it was mentioned it depends on people and which stores they prefer but in my family; we initially search about best, fairness and more cheaper price as possible and we never buy anything until we go to all stores and after that we maybe buy something. Another point is these days people wear formal clothes more than before because almost all of organizations want from their employee to be present in company with a suit which employees should be there with it and some schools have ordered to parents that buy a special and united suit for their children.
In IRAN we
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in weddings party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me
first
time I wore a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for an interview for IMAM
Possible spelling mistake found.
SADEGH
University.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
or special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it doesn’t matter what they have worn, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
and do everything same as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it depends on our perspective or our approach to the life as default and after that it influences on our behavior; you may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
like a stupid or a general person;
conversely
you may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a low level shirt or pants or coat or something else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
like a professional person;
consequently
your personality is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than other factor like cloth.

In IRAN we have a particular time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
and it is AIDE
Possible spelling mistake found.
NOROOZE
; for coming a new year.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
have expensive goals and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
of them have a fairness price; as it
was mentioned
it depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
they prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my family; we
initially
search about best, fairness and
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
price as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
possible and
we never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything until we go to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and after that we maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something.

Another point is these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost
Consider using "all organizations" or "all of the organizations".
all of organizations
want from their employee to be present in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with a suit which employees should be there with it and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools have ordered to parents that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a special and united suit for their children.
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IELTS essay Describe an occasion that you wore formal clothes?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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