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Write a paragraph of 150 words about benefits of travelling

Write a paragraph of 150 words about benefits of travelling YmxN5
Travelling is more than a hobby as it brings about lots of advantages. First, it provides people with wide sources of knowledge. Along the journey, travellers get to know more about the people, the cultures and the countries where they visit. This knowledge is not lively expressed in any schools. Second, travelling grants people with unforgettable moments and experiences. On the way to other places, people can experience things that they could never experience at their homelands. Third, travelling makes you more confident and independent. People will realize that they can cope with a lot of unexpected situations, which push them learn how to survive without all that help that is always available for them at home. They will likely find out that they are much stronger and braver than they have expected. Last but not least, it improves the language skill. Coming to a new land with a different language gives an opportunity to get access to a new language in reality. In short, because of its several benefits, people should travel more.
Travelling is more than a hobby as it brings about lots of advantages.
First
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with wide sources of knowledge. Along the journey,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the cultures and the countries where they visit. This knowledge is not lively expressed in any schools. Second, travelling grants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with unforgettable moments and experiences. On the way to other places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience things that they could never experience at their homelands. Third, travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more confident and independent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will realize that they can cope with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
unexpected situations, which push them learn how to survive without all that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that is
always available for them at home. They will likely find out that they are much stronger and braver than they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Coming to a new land with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
language gives an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to a new language in reality. In short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its several benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should travel more.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph of 150 words about benefits of travelling

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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