Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

life is good and our life.

life is good and our life. 3gwem
As a child, Jee Seok-Jin loved speaking in front of people. That's why he already ran school events as a host in high school and dreamed of becoming an MC. However, when he was a high school student in Korea in the 1980s, there was no system comparable to the “MC Open Recruitment Test” and famous MCs were well-known singers or comedians. That's why he concluded if he want to be an MC, he had to become a singer first. Later he formed a band called "Purple Haze" with his high school friends at this time to make music first. Even after he entered the university, he formed a new band to continue his musical activities and also worked as an actor in the theater, an musical actor. However, despite his diverse activities, he did not achieve what he wanted, and finally began a military career in the "Navy Entertainment Group". And in the Navy, he also met his lifelong friend, Kim Yong-man. Since the two were called up at the same time and served 3 years of military service together, a close friendship developed between them. Because Jee Seok-Jin's goal was to become an MC and Kim Yong-man wanted to be a comedian, the two promised each other that they would be successful in the entertainment industry together. So they fostered their hosting skills as MCs by holding around 30-40 military events per year in this 3 years. As Jee Seok-Jin's 3 years of military service came to an end, the performances as MCs, who were still singers at this time, were outstanding. Therefore, he decided to become a singer again and started making his own albums in the army. After his discharge from the military, he visited numerous agencies with his demo tapes.
As a child,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jee
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seok-Jin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
speaking in front of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

That's why he already ran
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as a host in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and dreamed of becoming an MC.

However
, when he was a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
student in Korea in the 1980s, there was no system comparable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“MC
Open Recruitment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Test
” and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
MCs
were well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singers
or comedians.

That's why he concluded if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to be an MC, he had to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singer
first
.

Later he formed a band called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Purple Haze
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
with his high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
friends at this time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
music
first
.

Even after he entered the university, he formed a new band to continue his musical activities and
also
worked as an actor in the theater,
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
musical actor.

However
, despite his diverse activities, he did not achieve what he wanted, and
finally
began a military career in the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Navy Entertainment Group
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

And in the Navy, he
also
met his lifelong friend, Kim Yong-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.

Since the two
were called
up at the same time and served 3 years of military service together, a close friendship developed between them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jee
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seok-Jin
's goal was to become an MC and Kim Yong-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
wanted to be a comedian, the two promised each other that they would be successful in the entertainment industry together.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they fostered their hosting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
MCs
by holding around 30-40 military
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
per year in this 3 years.

As
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jee
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seok-Jin
's 3 years of military service came to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the performances as
Possible spelling mistake found.
MCs
, who were
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singers
at this time, were outstanding.

Therefore
, he decided to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singer
again and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
making his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
albums in the army.

After his discharge from the military, he visited numerous agencies with his demo tapes.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay life is good and our life.

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • life is good and our life.