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Some people say it is acceptable to use animals for our benefit, others say it is wrong to exploit them. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people say it is acceptable to use animals for our benefit, others say it is wrong to exploit them. BWdj5
It would be argued by some that the use of animals for our sake is reasonale, while others believe it is wrong to exloit them. However, I agree with those who are favour of the opposing views. I state my opinion on this view. There is no denying that it is essential for human to make use of animals sourses. The first reason is that we depend significantly on animal supply. To illustrate this, human being get the most of animals such as food, milk and other nutritions, which are vital for man. Moreover, we can use their fir, or anything you wish from their body to produce clothes and applications for human life. I desperately believe that it is unacceptable to exloit animals. To commence, the population boom of any nations has been grew significantly recently, which means that the need for man will also be rise dramastically. Therefore, animals has become gradually disappeared due to the demand of human for food and clothes. As a case in point, if animals has become extinct, man will not have enough food sources to survive as we are dependent greatly on the nutritions from animals meat. What is more, the loss of animals contributes to the decline of the bidioversity of the inviroment, which leads to detrimental forest problems and human’s issues. To recapitulate, although it is legit for people to use animal for their benefit, the level of exloitation has continously gone up. In my opinion, it would be benifical for us to limit the use of this precious natural sources
It would
be argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our sake is
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonale
, while others believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exloit
them.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the opposing views. I state my opinion on this view.

There is no denying that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Possible spelling mistake found.
sourses
. The
first
reason is that we depend
significantly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
supply. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as food, milk and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
, which are vital for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Moreover
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their fir, or anything you wish from their body to produce clothes and applications for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.

I
desperately
believe that it is unacceptable to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exloit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To commence, the population boom of any nations has been
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grew
significantly
recently, which means that the need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will
also
be
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rise
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramastically
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has become
gradually
disappeared due to the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
for food and clothes. As a case in point, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has become extinct,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food sources to survive as we are dependent
greatly
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
meat.
What is more
, the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
contributes to the decline of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bidioversity
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inviroment
, which leads to detrimental forest problems and
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human issues"?
human’s issues
.

To recapitulate, although it is legit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for their benefit, the level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
exloitation
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
continously
gone up. In my opinion, it would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifical
for us to limit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this precious natural
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sources
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IELTS essay Some people say it is acceptable to use animals for our benefit, others say it is wrong to exploit them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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