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Write an electronic device

Write an electronic device LLwyr
Nowadays, life is more modern and comfortable so electronic devices play an important role in our life. Technological development and electronic devices have changed our lives a lot. One of the most indispensable electronic devices in each family is the television. Thanks to TV, people can get the latest information and enjoy interesting programs in an inexpensive and convenient way. Firstly, all of us need to get information, update news and everything happening around us every day. TV helps us to access easily with outside world. You just sit at home and choose information that you want to know. TV enables us to see things in distant places. It is indeed one of the most wonderful things that man has ever invented. Secondly, TV has a wide range of interesting programs. With many educational programs, children can learn more about anything or probably know about other cultures in different countries. It helps them to widen their knowledge. Game shows, comedies and music programs help people relax after a hard working day. When children are tired with studies, they can use the television to watch cartoons, film. It helps us to watch sports programs live from our home though they are happening in a very far country. In conclusion, for all these reasons, TV is one of the best electronic devices that is very necessary in every family and it will continue to be popular for a long
Nowadays, life is more modern and comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. Technological development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
a lot. One of the most indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in each family is the television. Thanks to TV,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest information and enjoy interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in an inexpensive and convenient way.

Firstly
, all of us need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information, update news and everything happening around us every day. TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to access
easily
with outside world. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit at home and choose information that you want to know. TV enables us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things in distant places. It is
indeed
one of the most wonderful things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has ever invented.

Secondly
, TV has a wide range of interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, children can learn more about anything or
probably
know about other cultures in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to widen their knowledge. Game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, comedies and music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
relax after a
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
day. When children
are tired
with studies, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the television to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons, film. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
from our home though they are happening in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far country.

In conclusion
, for all these reasons, TV is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary in every family and it will continue to be popular for a long
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IELTS essay Write an electronic device

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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