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Write a paragraph about 130 - 150 words about the city you like to live in the future. Why?

Write a paragraph about 130 - 150 words about the city you like to live in the future. Why? PLVmd
Like many others, I have a dream that I will have a beautiful house in an ideal city. And that would be Hanoi – the capital of Vietnam. This is my hometown, so I have a lot of great memories with this city. My dream university in the future is located in Hanoi, too. So it would be a wonderful city for me to live there for loads of reasons. Firstly, the weather in Hanoi is so good. It brings me pleasant throughout the year, especially in the winter and spring because I love its coldness. In addition, Hanoi offers all sorts of facilities to its dwellers from educational institutes to shopping center. So if I live there, I won’t have to worry about the lack of necessary services for my own life. Thirdly, Hanoi is one of the major cities that play an important role in Vietnam’s industry. For this reason, after I finish my study, I would find a good job or build my own career easily. However, Hanoi is famous for its fantastic destinations and various cuisine, so I can comfortably spend my weekend with my friends here. In conclusion, Hanoi offers everything I dream of, so I really want to build a small house and live happily here in the future.
Like
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many
others, I have a dream that I will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in an ideal city. And that would be Hanoi
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the capital of Vietnam. This is my hometown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great memories with this city. My dream university in the future
is located
in Hanoi, too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would be a wonderful city for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there for loads of reasons.
Firstly
, the weather in Hanoi is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It brings me pleasant throughout the year,
especially
in the winter and spring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
its coldness.
In addition
, Hanoi offers all sorts of facilities to its dwellers from educational institutes to shopping center.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if I
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live
there, I won’t
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have to
worry about the lack of necessary services for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
Thirdly
, Hanoi is one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in Vietnam’s industry.
For this reason
, after I finish my study, I would find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job or build my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career
easily
.
However
, Hanoi is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its fantastic destinations and various cuisine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
comfortably
spend my weekend with my friends here.
In conclusion
, Hanoi offers everything I dream of,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
really
want to build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
here in the future.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph about 130 - 150 words about the city you like to live in the future. Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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