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Write a essay that express, describes, introduce yourself to strangers?

Write a essay that express, describes, introduce yourself to strangers? gbgj1
My name is Lien. Quach, and I currently I the senior years in high school. My family have three members included me, I live with my mother and my older brother. My brother older than me six-year-old and we quite have opposite personality. Having a pet is my dream gift, I really like dog and cats but don’t have opportunity to have one, but I’m sure that I will adopt one in the future. I like when people really listening to me when I’m talking because it really annoying me when they don’t listen what I’m say and ask again me what I’m saying. I don’t like people judging me when I’m doing somethings different than usually, I do. I have been live in California two year ago before move to Houston, Texas. If I have free time I usually do meditate, or watching movies. I don’t have a job right now, but I plan to get a job before I get into colleges, because of inconvenience of transportation I can’t to work in high school time. In my view, being a good teacher is so important and is definitely hard to achieve, but in my opinion a good teacher need to have a good explanation, make the lesson simple to student to understand, help student when they struggling or need help, and care about them. Contrary to a good teacher, in my definition a bad teacher is ignorant student help and explain the lesson so complex. What make me really down when I’m in class is teacher plan lesson of the day is all lectures, because to me lectures is so boring and make me feel so sleepy, can’t focus to the lesson. The method I learn the best is given examples, examples really help me understanding the main point, the purpose of the lesson. I’m taking food science because I want to learn how nutrition help ours body and system. Food is everything to me, and I used to eat “bad food”, and you all know how “bad food” is good. So, I changing my eating habit to the healthy way, and want to learn what kind of fruit, meat, fish, vegetable contain
My name is Lien.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quach
, and I
currently
I the senior years in high school. My family have three members included me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my mother and my older brother. My brother older than me six-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and we quite have opposite personality. Having a pet is my dream gift, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
like dog and cats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don’t have opportunity to have one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I’m sure that I will adopt one in the future. I like when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
listening to me when I’m talking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
annoying me when they don’t listen what I’m say and ask again me what I’m saying. I don’t like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
judging me when I’m doing somethings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
usually
, I do.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in California two year ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Houston, Texas. If I have free time I
usually
do meditate, or watching movies. I don’t have a job right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into colleges,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inconvenience of transportation I can’t to work in high school time.

In my view, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and is definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
need to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
explanation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
simple to student to understand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
student when
Did you mean "they're struggling", "they are struggling", or "they were struggling"?
they struggling
or need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, and care about them. Contrary to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, in my definition a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is ignorant student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
complex. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
down when I’m in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
of the day is all lectures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to me lectures is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
boring and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sleepy, can’t focus to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
. The method I learn the best is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
examples, examples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
The verb ',' is used with an infinitive: "to understand" or "understand".
understanding
the main point, the purpose of the lesson.

I’m taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I want to learn how nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
ours body and system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is everything to me, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food”
, and you all know how “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food”
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "I'm changing", "I am changing", or "I was changing"?
I changing
my eating habit to the healthy way, and want to learn what kind of fruit, meat, fish, vegetable contain

IELTS essay Write a essay that express, describes, introduce yourself to strangers?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
364 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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