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write a essay about the best present you have ever received

write a essay about the best present you have ever received eEGax
Next week I will officially become a college student, and my parents had decided to buy me one thing which they thought I will need in my new semester. That special present is a beautiful laptop, and I cannot wish for anything better at this time. It is a luxurious Mac Book, which has an elegant and thin design. My parents chose the white color; it is a beautiful color for a laptop, but I think it will easily have a dirt stain on it. It is just about one - inch thick, and it is very light to be carried around. The screen is not very big, but it is enough for me to do every task. The IOS-operated system is especially for heavy and complicated acts, so I do not have any problem with doing my homework, play online games, or calculate. The laptop was sold with some useful spare parts such as a USB, a wireless keyboard and mouse, and a bag to keep them. The side keyboard is faster and easier to type than the original one, and it keeps my wrist from getting hurt when I have to type for a long time. And the wireless thing helps me to reduce the effort in plugging in and out whenever I want to use them. Before my parents gave me this present, I had to work on an old personal computer, and it was not an interesting feeling to sit and wait for a very long time for it to complete a task. Now I have i whole new laptop which is very modern, I am free to do whatever I like without waiting so long. This thing is the greatest gift that I have ever had so far, so I will always consider it as my favorite personal stuff.
Next
week I will
officially
become a college student, and my parents had decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
me one thing which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I will need in my new semester. That special present is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
, and I cannot wish for anything better at this time. It is a luxurious
This word is normally spelled as one.
Mac Book
, which has an elegant and thin design. My parents chose the white color; it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
color for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
easily
have a dirt stain on it. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
inch thick, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
light to
be carried
around. The screen is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for me to do every task. The IOS-operated system is
especially
for heavy and complicated acts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I do not have any problem with doing my homework, play online games, or calculate.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
was sold
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful spare parts such as a USB, a wireless keyboard and mouse, and a bag to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
side keyboard is faster and easier to type than the original one, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
my wrist from getting hurt when I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
type for a long time. And the wireless thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effort in plugging in and out whenever I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
my parents gave me this present, I had to work on an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
personal computer, and it was not an interesting feeling to sit and wait for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time for it to complete a task.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I have
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
whole new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
modern, I am free to do whatever I like without waiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long. This thing is the greatest gift that I have ever had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will always consider it as my favorite personal stuff.
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IELTS essay write a essay about the best present you have ever received

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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