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People today spend far more time watching sport than actually doing any themselves. What are the factors influencing this change?

People today spend far more time watching sport than actually doing any themselves. What are the factors influencing this change? VyJ3O
owadays, more people are tend to being spectators rather than taking part in a sport activity. In my opinion, the impacts from the Internet and contemporary life style are the main factors that causing this difference. To begin with, it is more convenient for modern people to watch sport games through the Internet. For those who are unable to attain a sport event, the Internet providing them an attainable way to access to the competition by live streaming or relevant program at home. Furthermore, as a result of the digital devices on the go, people may able to be involved in the matches whenever or wherever the Internet is available. Without time and space boundaries, watching sport games would be more accessible than ever. The other factor might be the hectic life style of modern people. After an overwhelmingly scheduled day, they would like to stay away from the crowd, which deter them from taking part in sports that need routine training and teamwork. Instead, most of people are doing exercise at home or working out in gym contributing to decrease the popularity of participating sports activities in contemporary life. In addition, people may even move away exercise from their agenda when they evaluate their priorities in this fast-paced life, staying in sedentary. To sum up, the life style and technology would affect our hobbies. As more widely reachable the Internet are and much busier the people are, modern people are more likely to be a spectator rather than a participator.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
owadays
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tend to being spectators
rather
than taking part in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activity. In my opinion, the impacts from the Internet and contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style are the main factors that causing this difference.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is more convenient for modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
games through the Internet. For those who are unable to attain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, the Internet providing them an attainable way to access to the competition by
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
or relevant program at home.
Furthermore
,
as a result
of the digital devices on the go,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "may be able"?
may able
to
be involved
in the matches whenever or wherever the Internet is available. Without time and space boundaries, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
games would be more accessible than ever.

The other factor might be the hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. After an
overwhelmingly
scheduled day, they would like to stay away from the crowd, which deter them from taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that need routine training and teamwork.
Instead
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing exercise at home or working out in gym contributing to decrease the popularity of participating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities in contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away exercise from their agenda when they evaluate their priorities in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, staying in sedentary.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style and technology would affect our hobbies. As more
widely
reachable the Internet are and much busier the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to be a spectator
rather
than a participator.
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IELTS essay People today spend far more time watching sport than actually doing any themselves. What are the factors influencing this change?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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