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Would you prefer living in the coutryside or in the city?

Would you prefer living in the coutryside or in the city? 5L06A
I don’t know. Both of them have their benefits and drawbacks. But if I have to choose, I do tend to want to get away to somewhere more peaceful and quiet to refresh myself, and obviously, there is no choice that is better than the countryside. First of all, Living in the countryside is more preferable to me. The air quality is better, no emissions, less traffic than the city, more trees, more farms, and maybe more freedom. People in the countryside seem to be more friendly and kind than in big cities. Whenever I need something, they always help me as much as possible. The reason why I don't choose to live in the city is that life there can be so stressful sometimes. Costs of living in big cities are high, life is very fast, no time to relax, I have to worried about taxes, besides other problems like traffic jams or pollution also happens regularly. At the moment, I'm just a kid, and these things don't make me panic at all, but when I grow up, these troubles would be incredibly terrible. Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that living in the countryside is better than in the urban area.
I don’t know. Both of them have their benefits and drawbacks.
But
if I
have to
choose, I do tend to want to
get
away to somewhere more peaceful and quiet to refresh myself, and
obviously
, there is no choice
that is
better than the
countryside
.
First of all
, Living in the
countryside
is more preferable to me. The air quality is better, no emissions, less traffic than the city, more trees, more farms, and maybe more freedom.
People
in the
countryside
seem to be more friendly and kind than in
big
cities
. Whenever I need something, they always
help
me as much as possible. The reason why I don't choose to
live
in the city is that life there can be
so
stressful
sometimes
. Costs of living in
big
cities
are high, life is
very
fast
, no time to relax, I
have to
worried about taxes,
besides
other problems like traffic jams or pollution
also
happens
regularly
. At the moment, I'm
just
a kid, and these things don't
make
me panic at all,
but
when I grow up, these troubles would be
incredibly
terrible.

Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that living in the
countryside
is better than in the urban area.
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IELTS essay Would you prefer living in the coutryside or in the city?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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