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Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v.4

Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v. 4
Lifestyle has always been a debatable issue due to its significant impacts on many other aspects of life. Many believe that a peaceful life is a way to enjoy life, while the other regards a life with more intensity is a better life even when they have to spend a shorter time living. From my perspective, I believe that being able to live for a century with calmness and being relaxed is the greatest way to live. On the one hand, living an intensive life will disable one from knowing the greatest meanings of life. However, a life full of intensity includes many dangerous or even illegal activities such as participating in racing events, doing drugs and living an unhealthy life. A report from the University of Michigan demonstrates that those who enjoy racing, drugs share a similarity of living shorter than those who do not. On the other hand, a calm life creates individuals numerous opportunities in their life. People are unable to avoid mistakes in their life. For some people, they always find themselves in trouble almost every day. Some mistakes will lead to no consequences while some will have a significant impact on an individual' s life such as their family, career, and happiness. Therefore, if one chooses a calm life, he will create the ability to redeem his mistakes. A psychology laboratory in Netherland shows that most successful people live a longer life because they put effort into trying a better solution to the problem but not becoming pessimistic and feeling regretful about what they did. In conclusion, a long life does not only provide us chances to witness the greatest parts in life but also let one fixes what he has done wrong.
Lifestyle has always been a debatable issue due to its significant impacts on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that a peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a way to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, while the other regards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with more intensity is a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a shorter time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. From my perspective, I believe that being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for a century with calmness and
being relaxed
is the greatest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
an intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will disable one from knowing the greatest meanings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
full of intensity includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
or even illegal activities such as participating in racing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, doing drugs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
an unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A report from the University of Michigan demonstrates that those who enjoy racing, drugs share a similarity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
shorter than those who do not.

On the other hand
, a calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
creates individuals numerous opportunities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are unable to avoid mistakes in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they always find themselves in trouble almost every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
mistakes will lead to no
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "while". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will have a significant impact on an
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as their family, career, and happiness.
Therefore
, if one chooses a calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, he will create the ability to redeem his mistakes. A psychology laboratory in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they put effort into trying a better solution to the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not becoming pessimistic and feeling regretful about what they did.

In conclusion
, a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide us chances to witness the greatest parts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixes
what he has done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Would you like to live a long, calm life until 100 years old or would you prefer a shorter life but much more intense. Decide and explain your reasons. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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